Thursday Interview

Taken from Laura, this looked like a good time killer idea...

1) So what are you doing?
Attempting to clean out my classroom for the last time, and no, I do not mean for the year, I mean for the last time. I don't really want to go into details, but I made the choice to officially move on. I have two full days to do about 4 hours of work, so I'm organizing some files and stuff as well.

2) Any future plans?
Well, I'm working for the Forest Service this summer, and have considered moving and taking a permanent position with them, but I'm still convinced teaching is my thing and want to find another position locally. I do have an interview or two lined up. I'm pretty cranky concerning the situation, so I'm pretty much just waiting to see what happens. I've got the ball rolling and am trying to convince myself that things DO really happen for a reason.

3) Ok then, what about this weekend? Anything planned for the holiday?
Unfortunately no. I probably will work on a forestry contract I have open and help out at the dance my fire department is throwing. What I really want to do is get on a plane and fly REALLY, REALLY far away from here and never come back and deal with my 'situations'. But then I would have to leave the menagerie and I could never do that.

4) So, 'situations'...care to define?
No, not really, except that I seem to stick my foot in it more often that not and it's biting my right in the butt. Now I'm just waiting a few things out to see if I've ruined a really good thing or if I actually have managed to set things back on track correctly.

5) Still upset over the few problems that popped up last week?
Not as much. I'm pretty proactive in trying to fix stuff, and after a few phone calls and explainations things are a bit better. It dealt with some financial stuff and a mail mix up, and some questionable health issues that had me worried. I've chilled out some.

6) That's good news then.
Yes. Now I can concentrate on the rest of it all. I really am trying to stay positive.

7) It doesn't sound like it. In fact, it sounds like you are wallowing in self-pity.
Yup, pretty much so. But if that was all it was I'd never get out of bed and sleep all day. I'm trying to stay busy and get the day to go by as fast a possible because you never know what the next day may bring!

8) What about all the great advice everyone gave you?
I am eternally greatful. Really. I truly am religious and am praying regularly this all works out. It's hard for me to get to mass because of where I live. It's isolated and sometimes mass just doesn't happen because there's nobody to go, but I try. I think I've got to try and have faith on this all. It's out of my hands and I can't really help myself out any more that I already have.

9) Anything positive?
I am looking forward to starting my summer job. I also have lost my winter weight due to nervous tension. I suppose whatever works right?

10) Alrighty...ever get that blog posting problem fixed?
No. It posts alright during the day...like now, but if I write late at night it still won't post until later the next day. I'm convinced it's my broadband service and not blogger. Not too concerned anymore...just more curious.

Resolution

Anyone who's kept up with my blog is sure to realize my year has been anything but boring so far. Event after event after event has seemed to occur, whether they were welcome or not...and it seems I have gotten a rather negative attitude about life in general rampaging through my mind due to it all. Thinking back I'm aware this has been a bit of a downfall of mine in the past when situations become trying, but what I have failed to realize is just how much I have going for me.

Yes, things suck right now for me. There has been death, sickness, life-altering disappointment and unexpected financial changes, and I was hit with two more 'issues' tonight that ruined my plans and had me in tears, but truly, they aren't the end of the world. I've been through worse before, much worse, and I know I can get through all this too even though it seems scary right now. I am resiliant, strong, stubborn and willing to do what it takes to succeed. I also have a great work ethic, try my hardest to be the best I can, am not afraid to try new approaches to tasks in work and life...I also have a lot of energy and keep busy, so why do I get so negative about things? It's ruining my relationships with others and ruining my self-esteem.

I've decided I have to do something about this. I HAVE to change this habit, state of mind, whatever, into something a bit more positive. Yes, I still need people keeping their digits crossed for me, but I sure would appreciate if you all could share with me the things you do to perk yourself up when you've gotten really down and out. Attitude really is everything, but I just need some help getting there occasionally. Some things I've resolved to do? 1o in the list to start:

1) Smile. It just seems to come easier once you put a little effort into it.
2) When I feel like I'm about to start whining about my problems to somebody, stop and ask THEM how they are instead.
3) Learn to say 'no' when asked to take on yet another extra task voluntarily.
4) Continue to keep regular massage appointments to help reduce stress.
5) Stop judging others. I'm not perfect either.
6) Do one purposly random act of kindness for another per week, even if it's just a smile or 'hello' in the Walmart parking lot.
7) Don't 'bury' my head, proverbial or otherwise, when I get down. Go for a walk or ride with the dogs instead.
8) Research for information about the things that are bothering me and continue taking a proactive approach to them.
9) Tell the people who are supportive in my life how much I appreciate them being here.
10) Don't give up.

Problems Anyone?

Does anyone else have this problem? When I publish a new blog, it often takes up to 12 hours to post. I usually write later at night and I've noticed sometimes it doesn't post until the next morning, or sometime not until the next afternoon. Only occasionally does it post right away. This started about the time Blogger went out of beta, but I also started using a broadband service at this time so I'm wondering if it's the service, or Blogger. SO if anyone else has this problem (not like it's THAT big of a deal), then I know it's probably Blogger. If not, my broadband...Maybe if I write things too late at night it needs time to process through the server? I've noticed my service is awefully slow after about 10 at night...

On another note...things are in upheaval right now in my life. Not going to explain other than I have become more and more convinced that integrity is becoming an endangered trait, and that I have made some major decisions in the last year that I have been convinced show I'm standing up for what is right.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me...your toes too if you can!