Preview

I survived. It was interesting, but once I was down the aisle nothing mattered anymore.

Getting to the church. Dad surprised us with a Navigator Limo. It rocked!I think my dad was more nervous. The salon that did my hair and makeup said I was the calmest bride they'd ever seen. I think it was the Mimosa that did it.

The bestman (my bro) and groomsmen tux's didn't match. Nate's was wrong also. The only major issue of the day - which I didn't notice until afterwards anyway. However, I think the place should give money back to my brother and Nate for screwing it up. I checked the info that was given to them, what they wrote down and what they received. They aren't the same. My fur. LOL

Drama

This getting married thing is the pits. Actually, let me rephrase that: This wedding thing is the pits.

If I could listen to everyone's advice and just say, "hey, it's my day, I want it this way," I then start World War III. However, if anyone would actually listen to me then maybe things would be okay.

To all future brides out there - elope. The drama surrounding that will die down and you will save yourself some serious issues before, during and after the planning process. I was even silly enough to think that since I'm 1500 miles from where the wedding is taking place the drama was at a minimum and would be next to nothing since it was already taken care of - before I arrived in town. However, I have learned that drama waits for you, lurking and waiting until it can jump you in person.

If you insist on a wedding - be bridezilla. If you don't, somebody else will take on that role. I promise. Then you have to jump to their tune instead. Just do it yourself and listen to everyone complain about you - it's better than having to complain about somebody else when it's your wedding anyway.

For those of you who said your big day went off without a hitch and very little drama; either 1) I don't believe you or 2) I want some of the pills you were taking.

The Point of No Return

I'm having issues. But seriously, when am I not? I'm getting married Saturday. It's just hitting me. I have trouble taking on myself - and I'm taking on another adult and a 5 year old? I am changing my last name, but I am starting to have problems with it. Just identity problems. Like will I still be me-me? That and I NEVER want anyone to mistake me for my mother-in-law due to a last name.

The next post I assume will have wedding pictures. Hope for decent weather Saturday.

Here's the cake from the Birthday Party. For never having made a cake before I think I did well. The toppers are toys, no way I had time to shape and mold those babies out - it was like a birthday party ON the birthday cake.

15 Days and Counting...

Thanks for all the great comments on the last post. It's just a very new situation and I want to do right despite my selfish 'wants' every now and then.

These next two weeks are crazy. Literally. We're throwing Nate's daughter a birthday party tomorrow and I need to make a cake tonight, I have a reining and horsemanship clinic on Sunday, the bridesmaid's jewelry still needs to be made, I promised a friend I would help her with a P@mpered Chef party next week, I have two days of teacher development days before Thanksgiving, I have 40 papers to grade and am giving exams next week, my brochures are not done because I still don't know what goes in them and I have to get the license information taken care of online so we can pick it up when we get into Michigan the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Then we have to take care of the reception stuff here in CO the weekend we get back because we're on our own with this one with no local family help.

Elopement sounds good.

I always think of the billion things I want to blog about when I'm out and about, but then when I sit in front of the computer I'm overwhelmed with what I 'should' be doing. Things will get back to 'my normal' again soon. I hope.

Being a Mom is Hard

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I think, "what in God's name have I gotten myself into?" Being a mom is hard. Being an instant mom is hard. I never had the opportunity with Nate's daughter to watch her grow into the little 'young miss' she is today. Some days I *gasp* really don't like her. She's five on Wednesday, and whereas I'm well aware this is the age of 'pushing' and lying and trying to find boundaries, some days I wonder is she has ever been a sweet little girl.

But she is. And those days only happen occasionally, but it makes me feel guilty when I don't like her. I wonder if it's because I feel I'm being watched closely. Somebody is waiting for me to make a huge mistake.

Only I'm not going to. Because not only am I doing the best I can; I think back on all the changes this little girl has gone through in the last six months.

Six months ago she screamed when she saw a dog. Was scared to pet a cat. Whined that chickens were going to hurt her. Figured 'please' and 'thank you' were words belonging to some other society. Abused other children through words and actions. Had no friends. Couldn't socially relate to children her age. Etc, etc, etc...

Now she drags my dogs around, has her own kitten she won't leave alone, feeds chickens, horses and goats, says please and thank you a little more regularly, decided fighting with children would get her few friends and now talks about whom she plays with at school each day, and basically is a normal little five year old.

She also has a bed time. Doesn't watch TV for extended periods. Reads books and makes up stories. Sits down to dinner as a family each night. Has chores and responsibilities.

But in some circles (and the ex-wife doesn't count 'cause she's on drugs or something) I'm a bad person. Or at least totally disrespected and not even considered except as a threat.

So maybe being a mom isn't so hard all the time, but it is hard living under a microscope all the time.

Nate comes with a LOT of baggage.

Shirley and ... ?

We love Shirley, the little white goat, but Hank just isn't cutting it for the boy. Basically because Nate named the Turkey Hank and we're butchering him next weekend. He's mean. Nate's depressed about it. We just can't resurrect him into a goat.

I'm still feeling under the weather. I'm going to guess I've had the swine flu and now am dealing with the respiratory aftermath. How much fun is that?

School's been busy, especially with having missed a few days due to illness. My students are having to finish up quarter unit finals and take incompletes on their report cards until I can get everyone's presentations finished up. It's been a zoo! And we have conferences tonight. Oh joy.

Halloween was pretty low keyed. Nate's daughter was The Hulk. Sure beat a princess in my world. We went into town with some friends, hit a few houses and then all went out to dinner and drinks. It was fun and social but I had to turn in early as I was exhausted! This sickness has just taken it out of me! Despite living inthe country, we did carve a pumpkin and placed it on the porch for the night. I let it burn out. It was sort of a cool, homey rural thing to do.

While in Michigan I had my hair lightly colored to get rid of all the sun bleached tones and trimmed up! I really like it but I never do my hair so it's lost on me. I wish I was better about that. I also got new glasses. Wrigley 'ate' mine last spring (I needed a new pair anyway so it wasn't that big of a deal) and finally broke down and bought these. I love them! I know I look all pasty and sickly, but oh well.

Nate and I got busy with wedding favors over the weekend. I looked and looked and just couldn't find what I wanted and couldn't justify spending a few hundred dollars on candy. Then I started looking at things like cookie cutters, cards, etc. Still couldn't find anything that was grabbing me...until I found little gift cards made of paper pressed with seeds and an idea was born! I wasn't going to spend a billion dollars on these things, but what if I made them myself? So I found a site that sells the paper in sheets, bought a few odds and ends and about $70 later I have enough supplies to make over 200 gift cards and leftover supplies for future projects. That's WAY less than what I budgeted to spend on 100 guests and we have two receptions (one in MI and one in CO). Go me. Look how cute! And there's a little poem on the back about planting them in the spring so they can grow!