God I hate girls...

I AM NOT amused this morning. AT ALL. This is the letter I would LOVE to hand out to my team, but have held myself back and dealt with things more calmly. The consequences do stay the same however...


To my dear, sweet girls who failed to show up at practice this morning,

First I would like to express my concerns pertaining to coaching cheerleaders in the first place. I am not, nor ever will be, a perky cheerleader, but took this job because I have a background both stunting and dancing and felt I would be an asset to your team (plus it pays decent). Because of this, I expect you to be the perky cheerleaders you choose to be at 6:30 am as well as during game times. Why you ask? Because you choose 6:30 am practices every other week, and if I'm here doing my best for you, so I expect you to also be here doing your best for me.

Let me also explain to you what 6:30 am practices entail for me, especially this week while I am playing 'mom' to three children ages 6 through 12...I must get up extra early in order to do chores. When I say early, I mean around 4 am. Then I must get three tired children up, make them breakfast, and get them on their way to get ready for school. Then I must come here and unlock the doors to let you all in. Except there was only two people there this morning, and when I called your homes, you were in bed. Since somebody , somewhere has failed to teach you that there are consequences to your actions, I feel that maybe I DO actually need to teach a few of you a lesson or two.

This does NOT make me happy because I am not your mother, your father, your guardian, etc... In fact, I don't have any children of my own! Go figure. But if I did, I'd be kicking their butts right now for irresponsibility. Plus I'm pretty sure I'm getting sick to top it all off...and I don't have anybody to take care of me like you all do. Actually, you are probably lucky I'm getting sick and have almost no voice, this way I'm too tired to get riled up, and can't yell. On the downside, this also means I have no energy to deal with this, so if it occurs again at our next practice, I am kicking you off the team. Also be warned, when you do show up you will be running your little tail-ends off for me all morning and hopefully we will NEVER have a repeat of this 'little' problem.

I just wanted to make sure that we were on all on the same page as each other so communication problems wouldn't be an issue. If you have any questions you know where to reach me.

Miss. McLeod

P.S. For those of you who had a 'real' problem getting into school this morning: When I ask you if you have my phone number, don't lie and say yes because you are too lazy to get a pen to write it down. See what happens when you can't reach me in the morning? Tough.