My Gals

I'm not sure how to title this post...so I'll wait until I finish it up. So my last post was titled "Life and Loss"...and here's the loss. This has taken me awhile to try and put together. Shane's grandfather passed, my aunt unexpectedly died and I feel I should get home but I literally can't and I feel so lost because of it...like I don't belong anywhere anymore. Things aren't really so hot here on the homefront either and that's something I don't even know how to begin to explain. And there has been some devastating conditions to just make things worse...

I lost both Sedona and Sabrina this summer. I may want a simple life and stay home, cook, raise children and horses, but it isn't happening...so my animals are like my kids. They are my kids.

I can't explain it all. With Sabrina it was a really hard choice after finding what must have been a tumor in her neck. What I don't feel is right it that by now I should have had the means to do whatever it was to make things right with her...She was the first horse that was ever mine...just mine and nobody else's. I let her down by being a broke bum due to past decisions. Everyone said that putting her down was the right thing due to how much weight she was losing, but I should have been able to make it right.

Sedona's just gone. And that's something I still can't even fathom...It's like none of this happened as I've been so busy. On top of everything else that has been happening I just don't know why I can't catch a break...ever.