Not My Year

Taking Wyatt to The North Pole in The Springs and spending time with him all weekend was a good was to put things into perspective.

Then I got home.
Not only have some not good things occured that I probably won't blog about, and that i'm having a hard time coping with anyway- but last week I decided to have my old black cat, that's been with me since I was a sophomore in college, put down. I was okay with it, but sad. She was active but skin and bones, and really wasn't doing well overall. I tried everything, but after six months of no improvement, and some worsening habits indicative of some pain, I decided it was time. What made it hard was I was accused of, "caring more about her anyway". So that was that. It made it a little harder after that.

And then today I found Dixie dead. My baby girl. The vet did my chores while I was away, so I know there was no neglect. I think it may have just been her time. But still. She was really bloated. I don't want to believe she died of bloat, I just think there were some things going on with her, and I had suspected for some time there was cancer present somewhere. She was happy and active, but had slowed down a lot. I just thought there was arthritis going on more than anything and just bought her a big bottle of glucosemine while over the hill. I truly thought I had a few more years with her.

So i'm not in the best place right now with everything. I may not post everyday this week. There is a horsemanship clinic at the ranch. I will stay busy with that all week and post when it's over. I need really good thoughts in my general direction. Sometimes I think I've been cursed with the evil eye...and if negativity can mess with my life...positive should be able to do the same right? Just make things happier? Anyway....