Summer is Upon US!

I do actually have internet at home now, but it's slow and I'm back at my summer spot - the coffee house. However I don't anticipate this happening to often with a surly 5 year old (that I don't have today because she's with grandma - more on that later).

Sorry I don't have any pictures but Memorial Day weekend was fun! We went rafting on the Rio Grande - I wore a bathing suit in all my pregnant glory - and then stayed up 'till all hours of the night with my 'drinking' friends. Luckily I had another sober soul with me who's preggers as well. It was a beautiful day and sunshine, sunburns and beautiful water abounded!

I sent off my step-daughter's pony for the summer. Somebody wanted to borrow her and I'll be damned if I'm going to feed the little bugger when her 'owner' throws a fit everytime I suggest she spend some time brushing her or petting her. Now she's pissed at me. Oh well. She can pay for her feed then.

I don't have to take those damn pills from the doctor unless I think I need to. He said they really shouldn't be used over a long period of time and I did the right thing by not taking them as often as prescribed the way they made me feel. Thank God! I thought I as going to be tweaking for the next few months.

I shipped of my Step-daughter for the next 4 days to a family reunion with her grandparent's. I finally had to hash it out with my MIL and explain how her gradndaughter's behavior is not only not appropriate when she comes home from any kind of visit, but I've also about had it with her son and it's becoming clear to me that we get 'different stories' - and that from now on we have no 'go betweens' but actually communicate with one another. She was dumbstruck. She said she had no idea how bad her granddaughter was behaving and thought Nate was over-exaggerating. Bottom line - I need a break. It's been expected of me to be this great, fantastic mother and wife from the start and I've been pregnant the whole time. I haven't been cut a break and I'm tired of being a glorified babysitter and not living up to Nate's expectations. I laid down the law finally. I've been overwhelmed with trying to adapt as a wife and mother and deal with my own fears and exhaustion this pregnancy has brought on. It's my turn and I'm going to be a selfish bitch. Excuse the expression. I told my MIL that and said since she's been trying to contact me lately with wanting to help - than this is what she could do: Get her granddaughter out of my hair for a bit and work on her behavior so that when I do have her I don't have a crying whiny baby, and to tell her son to back off and stop playing games with us both - and be supportive rather than a whiny baby also. I also am making him go to therapy with me. I'm not his ex-wife who sat on her butt eating Cheetos through the pregnancy and never stopped. I'm an active person and having to slow down has been hard on me as well, but if I need to sit down I don't think I should be made to feel guilty because I'm not spending "enough time with his daughter". When the hell is he spending time with her?

This isn't hormonal either - this is me trying to please, please, please everyone and not getting anything in return. It's ending now. I'm too independent and if I don't try and fix it then I know myself, I'll leave and do it myself (which isn't really what I would want in the long run).

So I'm going to Gunnison for a weekend with some girlfriends. We have a conference and I can't wait for the short escape. I also am starting to teach swim lessons on Monday. They only last for a few hours each morning and then I have the rest of the day to myself for the rest of the summer. I'm very excited about this.