Gotta Wear Shades, Amongst Other Things...

Lots of stuff going on here. Put up a temporary fence for the horses so they can eat down some of the grass along both sides of the drive, waiting for our next flood for irrigation, am getting a great tan while teaching swim lessons each morning and I just got back from the doctors and everything's great - the cyst I had is gone, I haven't had any more sciatic nerve issues and basically now all I have to do is wait. However, the bad news is my doctor's leaving for another practice a month before the baby is due. S0 that more or less leaves me high and dry concerning a doctor... that's competent. Of course I am going with whom he suggested, but still. It pisses me off.

In other news: Wrigley's puppies are of age to sell and we went to visit to see the litters! Way too cute and I'm so glad I already had stud fees in hand and the pick of litter was wanted by the females' owner or I would have taken her home. There were 6 in one litter and 2 in the other (he 'accidentally' knocked up another female while visiting). Two babies died at birth when mom bit their umbilical cords too close, but everyone else was super healthy with a little help from the owners. There were 4 black and silver dapples, a red dapple, and 4 sables. Not too bad since both moms were straight red and Wrigley was the only one with any color! He has proven himself!!! Yeah!!!

Huge Wilderness fire burning behind our house in the sand dunes area. Since it's wilderness they've been letting it burn for about a week. It blew up today, but still is in an uninhabited area. Very cool to watch. I hope this doesn't turn out to be a crazy fire season since last year sucked and I can't go out on anything this year due to the belly. Can't believe how much I miss it! The peaks are at about 13,500 feet there so it gives you an idea of how high that plume is.

Mooooove Over Betsy! Or Better Known as Today I'm 32 and 28 Weeks Pregnant

Betsy's the big Longhorn in the background. I think I rival her? What do you think? She's living next to the house with a bunch of her friends this summer. She came by to say Happy Birthday.

Anywho. I started my morning off with a mile and half hike to bring in the horses from pasture and digging out some irrigation flows since we're flood irrigated here and the water for the horse pasture finally arrived - so I need to take advantage of it. Nate was still sleeping. Men. It was 6 am though and he didn't know the water had come up overnight. Still - men. But it is nice to know I may be preggers and still self-sufficient.

So now I'm off to teach swim lessons in my snazzy colorful swimsuit. I really don't care what I look like anymore really. I'm pregnant. Get over it.

My Iris's are blooming like crazy. The yellow ones opened first and are almost done, then the purple and are starting to finish up, redish came next and are at their height and the white ones opened yesterday morning. I didn't plant them so it's been interesting to see what I have. Columbine's are now opening and the tulips started but didn't do well after it froze a few nights in a row. Few other perennials took a hard hit but will make a come back and I lost almost all my annuals. Now I wish it would cool off! We went from super windy and dry to super humid and hot. Not a normal weather pattern for the valley. It's usually pretty cool in the summer here. I think the Michigan weather followed me special for my pregnancy.

Summer is Upon US!

I do actually have internet at home now, but it's slow and I'm back at my summer spot - the coffee house. However I don't anticipate this happening to often with a surly 5 year old (that I don't have today because she's with grandma - more on that later).

Sorry I don't have any pictures but Memorial Day weekend was fun! We went rafting on the Rio Grande - I wore a bathing suit in all my pregnant glory - and then stayed up 'till all hours of the night with my 'drinking' friends. Luckily I had another sober soul with me who's preggers as well. It was a beautiful day and sunshine, sunburns and beautiful water abounded!

I sent off my step-daughter's pony for the summer. Somebody wanted to borrow her and I'll be damned if I'm going to feed the little bugger when her 'owner' throws a fit everytime I suggest she spend some time brushing her or petting her. Now she's pissed at me. Oh well. She can pay for her feed then.

I don't have to take those damn pills from the doctor unless I think I need to. He said they really shouldn't be used over a long period of time and I did the right thing by not taking them as often as prescribed the way they made me feel. Thank God! I thought I as going to be tweaking for the next few months.

I shipped of my Step-daughter for the next 4 days to a family reunion with her grandparent's. I finally had to hash it out with my MIL and explain how her gradndaughter's behavior is not only not appropriate when she comes home from any kind of visit, but I've also about had it with her son and it's becoming clear to me that we get 'different stories' - and that from now on we have no 'go betweens' but actually communicate with one another. She was dumbstruck. She said she had no idea how bad her granddaughter was behaving and thought Nate was over-exaggerating. Bottom line - I need a break. It's been expected of me to be this great, fantastic mother and wife from the start and I've been pregnant the whole time. I haven't been cut a break and I'm tired of being a glorified babysitter and not living up to Nate's expectations. I laid down the law finally. I've been overwhelmed with trying to adapt as a wife and mother and deal with my own fears and exhaustion this pregnancy has brought on. It's my turn and I'm going to be a selfish bitch. Excuse the expression. I told my MIL that and said since she's been trying to contact me lately with wanting to help - than this is what she could do: Get her granddaughter out of my hair for a bit and work on her behavior so that when I do have her I don't have a crying whiny baby, and to tell her son to back off and stop playing games with us both - and be supportive rather than a whiny baby also. I also am making him go to therapy with me. I'm not his ex-wife who sat on her butt eating Cheetos through the pregnancy and never stopped. I'm an active person and having to slow down has been hard on me as well, but if I need to sit down I don't think I should be made to feel guilty because I'm not spending "enough time with his daughter". When the hell is he spending time with her?

This isn't hormonal either - this is me trying to please, please, please everyone and not getting anything in return. It's ending now. I'm too independent and if I don't try and fix it then I know myself, I'll leave and do it myself (which isn't really what I would want in the long run).

So I'm going to Gunnison for a weekend with some girlfriends. We have a conference and I can't wait for the short escape. I also am starting to teach swim lessons on Monday. They only last for a few hours each morning and then I have the rest of the day to myself for the rest of the summer. I'm very excited about this.

Aggravated Uterus

I'd be aggravated to if I was made to stretch into the shape and size of various athletic balls and large fruits over the course of a few months (not to mention being compared to those objects).

So my boring, uncomplicated pregnancy became a step towards complicated last night when I spent three hours in the hospital hooked up to various machines while a nurse tried to figure out exactly what was happening. The good news: no contractions. The bad news: my uterus is 'aggravated' which could precede pre-term labor and therefor I am now taking drugs; namely Terbutaline (no I didn't remember that I had to look on the prescription). I also got chewed out for waiting 48 hours before I bothered to call the doctor (but how was I supposed to know it wasn't gas?!).

Basically I now know what it must feel to be a tweaker...and why they call it 'tweaking'. My heart is racing a mile a minute and I can't concentrate on anything. It makes me sick to my stomach. I don't know how anybody can actually want to feel like this...for fun. Good thing school's over or I'd probably be under suspicion.

I also have a list of 'nos' and what I should avoid doing. I hate to tell them but half the things on the list I'm going to do anyway because who else will? Yes, I know, this is where everyone tells me I need to, "ask for help". And this is when I respond, "I would except when I do ask for help I end up having to do it anyway and more inconvenient times." That makes me feel lousy that I got up enough gumption to ask and then I wasn't important enough to the person for them to do it for me when I asked. It's just how it is.

Everything is pre-cautionary anyway and I'm just going to be a little more aware of myself. I know exactly what is causing this. It starts with a capitol S and is spelled S-T-R-E-S-S. There is one major factor contributing to this which I can't control. And I am doing everything possible to try to alleviate it which leads to more stress and disappointment. It's okay, I've dealt with worse, just not with the little parasite growing in my belly at the same time. But who said I wasn't up to a challenge right? If anything my little bugger will be born with some life lessons under his belt already.

Recipes, Phones and Wind...Oh My!

Hold tight and both recipes for Baked French Toast and the Artisan Bread are at the bottom...

My cell service was up for an update and despite absolutely loving my G'Zone Rock - the indestructible cell phone that spent time in a ditch, water tank and falling continually to a variety of ground surfaces - I decided to try something new. I figure if the new phone can't handle my life then I'll just turn the old one back on even though it's missing pieces from it's body. Trying a new phone was free afterall!

So after much debate I decided on the Samsung Reality. It's a touchscreen with a slide up querty keyboard. I've been extremely sceptical (as I usually am with new technology), but I've had it a few days now and so far, so good! I had some initial concerns with it's usage...and then I read through some tutorial material and made life easier for myself. I suggest reading through user manuals if you've never had a touch screen before. I have scratched it already (surprised?) but have a screen cover on it and went ahead and bought a skin to help protect it. I read a billion reviews as well and there weren't any negatives other than battery life - but mine just took 4 days to die after it's initial charge so I certainly don't have a problem with that!

So if I had to give it an initial review:

Fun, not any more expensive despite having to change my plan a little and having a Data package, good sound, has handled a little rough treatment (and feels sturdy), and a perfect size for a gal's pocket...Not sure I would recommend it for a guy as it is small. The keyboard keys stick up a little so that's cool also.

The wind won't stop blowing here. It's making me crazy. My landlady is a lawn freak also and is getting pissed we can't keep the lawn as green as she'd like, but I hate to tell her I'm trying to run sprinklers all night, but between the constant wind all day and night, and the hot sun all day it just dries it right out. That and we can only run one sprinkler at a time or we totally lose water pressure. The good thing is it's enough to keep the lawn alive, the bad thing is it doesn't look very healthy. Nate and came up with some solutions today. For starters we're going to fertilize the crap out of it. And we bought this so we can cover the whole lawn rather than just bits and pieces at a time (we have a really large lawn):

Meet the new addition - The Rain Train!!! Can't wait to see our electric bill from running the water so much.

Notice the broken swing in the background, and the dust and sand in the air. That's what the wind is doing to us here. It's like living through the dust bowl a few months at a time each spring. Though this year seems way worse than it's been in a long time.

Alrighty - as promised - Recipes!

Baked French Toast:

I got this recipe off The Pioneer Woman (link on left). I love the fact that you can change a lot up - such as substituting a sweet bread, adding fruit, and adding Cinnamon to the liquid mixture. Skim milk works great and cutting the butter also works if you are more health conscience. It was sweet enough that butter and syrup really didn't need to be added. What I TRULY loved was that it tasted awesome as leftovers also! If you have fresh eggs I strongly suggest you use them! It really raised it up and gave it a light texture. Store bought eggs gave it a more dense texture (I had to try and brag about my fresh eggs - I think everyone should have a backyard chicken or two, or three).

1 loaf Crusty Sourdough Or French Bread
8 whole Eggs
2 cups Whole Milk
½ cups Whipping (heavy) Cream
¾ cups Sugar
2 Tablespoons Vanilla Extract
Topping
½ cups All-purpose Flour
½ cups Firmly Packed Brown Sugar
1 teaspoon Cinnamon
¼ teaspoons Salt
1 stick Cold Butter, Cut Into Pieces
Fresh Fruit (optional)

Grease 9 x 13-inch baking pan with butter. Tear bread into chunks (or cut into cubes) and evenly distribute in the pan.

Mix together eggs, milk, cream, sugar, and vanilla. Pour evenly over bread. Cover tightly and store in the fridge several hours or overnight.

In a separate bowl, mix flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, and salt. Add nutmeg if desired. Add butter pieces and but into the dry mixture until mixture resembles fine pebbles. Store in a Ziploc in the fridge.

When you’re ready to bake the casserole, preheat oven to 350 degrees. Remove casserole from oven and sprinkle crumb mixture over the top. (If you’re using fruit, sprinkle on before the crumb mixture.) Bake for 45 minutes for a softer, more bread pudding texture. Bake 1 hour or more for a firmer, less liquid texture.

Scoop out individual portions. Top with butter and drizzle with maple syrup.

Simple Artisan Crust Bread

You're going to die when you see how easy this is. Adding honey, spices, cheese, for taste also works well. Those of you at high elevations: I live at 8,000 feet and didn't have to change a thing. It wasn't a very dense bread, but if you want it a little lighter add a little flour and take away some yeast. Yeast rises much faster at a high elevation. You can also punch it down once and let it rise again or add a little salt. But like I said I didn't have any problems. That could also be due to baking it with water on a stone.

1 1/2 Tablespoons Yeast

1 1/2 Tablespoons Salt

6 1/2 Cups Flour

3 Cups Lukewarm Water (~100 degrees)

Mix Yeast, Salt and Water. Stir in flour. Knead lightly (should be combined but not too much, not crumbly either) and then Cover (but let breathe) and let rise for 2 hours.

Cut into grapefruit sized pieces with a serrated knife and shape into a round loaf (can sprinkle with cornmeal) and Let rest for 40 min.

Heat stone for 20 minutes in oven at 450 degrees

Dust with flour and slash - put 1 cup water in broiling pan

Bake ~30 min. or until lightly brown on top.

Enjoy!!!

The Stepmonster Cooks

First off I'd like to start this post by giving myself a slap on the hand for what amounts to being a horrible step-mother...again. We had a beautiful weekend here and I had the audacity to suggest to my step-daughter that she set up her Barbie pool outside and enjoy the weather.

That's it. She screamed bloody murder that I had her put on shorts, a tank top and play outside while I gardened. I know, I know...the cruelty I subject her to. Since she hated that idea so much I made her sit on the porch instead with no toys. I'm sure she'll be scarred for life.

That pretty much sums up where our summer is starting out this year. How much fun does everyday of this sound? Yippee! Can't wait to see her reaction when she finds out I signed her up for swim lessons! Yeah! I'm becoming absolutely apathetic to what she wants anymore...since it basically sums up to sitting in her room.

I really wanted to make this post about my cooking...or rather lack thereof as of late. I love to cook, but with my super small, lacking of counter space typish kitchen, it really isn't enjoyable - at all. In fact it rates right up there with trying to do things with my step-daughter. I really can't describe how little counter space I have, but the following pictures probably will give you an idea of what I'm talking about.

I received a TON of great kitchen stuff for our wedding and for the Pampered Chef party I had in February - that has been either sitting around taking up space or stored away. Alanna sent me baking sheets recently, and since I've been craving cookies, and had a large bag of chocolate chips in the cupboard, well...time to try out the new materials! I decided to put my Baking stone, glassware mixing bowls, ergonomic baking sheets and Kitchenaide mixer to use - pretty much all at once - with new recipes no doubt. Lot's of big 'ifs' there.

In the menu:

Dark Chocolate/ Toffee Chip Cookies

Artisian Bread
Baked French Toast

I can only handle 3 at once with this kitchen...seriously. Wait until you see the balancing act...

This pretty much amounts to my total (at least largest) counter space:

Oh look - there's a little more next to the stove:

Taking advantage of some space on the table:

Letting the bread 'rest':

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm! This bread was SO simple to make. I would add in honey and some spices next times, but for a quick, plain white bread it's awesome! There are usually some challenges to baking at 8000 feet altitude, but I didn't have to alter anything for this recipe.

Oh! More counter space in front of the microwave! Yeah! Notice the pan is hanging off the edge...

Let me tell you how way yummy this baked french toast turned out. It was even better as leftovers!

All in all everything turned out great and all the new 'materials' I tried out worked great! And...NOTHING ended up on the floor (except a little flour)!

Wind, wind and more wind...

Thank you for all the well wishes after my last post. I'm not letting myself think about it too much. It's just so sickening to me still how the chain of events played out.

The wind typically whips through the valley each spring but this year things have been a little more violent than usual. I thought everything that could blow away was put away, however nature WILL find things to destroy. When I arrived home Tuesday the chain link fence around the chicken pen was blown over. How does a chain link fence get blown over, especially when there is no resistance? When the wind is strong enough to actually move the fence into a position that there are no angles to the fencing and it falls over. Sorry there aren't any pics but I was attempting to right it in the wind.

We also have vents in various places in the ceiling of the house. They have access panels into a crawl space in the rafters. The wind blew so hard it must have somehow gotten through little nooks and crannies around the facet and literally lifted the access panels so a few were all scewed. Mind that was actually inside the house. How strong does wind have to be for that to happen?

But what takes the cake is this:

This is the skylight at the school. The wind didn't shatter the glass or blow something into it - it lifted the glass panels and blew them away. Where they landed nobody knows.

And then there's me at 24 1/2 weeks. I had my test for diabetes the morning of this picture. The results aren't in yet, but I think everything is fine. The only thing that has changed some for me is how I can have crazy energy all day until about 1 pm and then I literally want to die. Of course I still have 2 1/2 hours of classes left so that isn't an option, and then I hit my second wind at home and try to stay busy until bedtime. Getting up in the morning is getting increasingly difficult, especially since I bought myself the Leacho pillow I had posted about previously. I love it even though I wish the separation was at the bottom so when I rolled over I didn't have to lift my legs, but it is super comfortable and supportive.

Sad Day

I lost my horse Docs Driften Rebel today. After various attempts to geld him (castrate him), and dealing with nasty weather, the vet and I finally scheduled today to work (I'm his assistant as he is semi-retired and I have a vet assistand background). A month or so ago we found out he was a cryptorchid (meaning only one testicle had dropped), so we scheduled an invasive, but usually uneventful surgery.

After cutting him open the vet couldn't find the testicle. He searched forever and came up with a vas deferen - not connected to anything. We both were extremely confused but decided to sew him up, take the dropped testicle and wait to see his behavior in a month or so. If nothing else his testosterone level would drop, and if he had tendencies to act stupid as a 'proud cut' (still producing hormones) horse, then the vet said he would go in through the side to try and find the missing bit up around the kidneys from a different angle.

For those of you unaware, the kidney and testicle are one and the same in utero, so when one goes 'missing' it's usually hiding up there because it never fully developed or dropped into position.

He came out of anaesthetic great, was moving around, eating some, drinking and a half hour later was dead. Somehow his intestine slipped through a less than 1/4 inch space between sutures, started filling with fluid and the brought another loop of intestine with it. Our choices were to put them back and restitch, cut them out and sew the remaining intestine together (and with two lengths this was quite long), or put him down. In my experience, and almost everyone I know who's had a horse with intestine surgery, has lost the animal. Such a large, strong animal is so surprisingly fragile when dealing with these types of wounds. It's why a twisted gut in colic almost always results in death - even after surgery.

My vet was sick about it. He felt his 'digging' around, no matter how gentle he was helped this along. He offered to perform any surgery I asked free of charge, but I just know - I just know it would have resulted in the infection that most likely was already forming, or a rupture inside later, or death of a length of intestine and then a more painful death for my colt. I had the option to haul him up to CSU after securing the already dropped intestine, but that would have taken hours and we probably would have arrived with dying intestine and a horse in a lot of pain. And with that I made a decision to put him down. I've watched too many friends with colicy horses who have gone through the surgery, think they have a great recovery going only to watch them die in pain. I couldn't do this to him because of my selfishness of wanting to try and try and try some more.

I'm sick over it. And it gets worse.

Afterwards the vet performed an autopsy. He couldn't explain the vas deferens and felt horrible as he's a family friend I've known since I moved here. He needed to know why he couldn't find something he's found hundreds of times before.

There was no second testicle. The vas deferens wasn't ruptured like he thought. It literally wasn't connected to anything. The surgery was completely unnecessary. However there was no way anyone could have known this since the odds are so completely - out there. It's like a million in one. I can get a horse that I lose in that kind of odds, but never something good. Why is that? Why at the expense of a life?

We're disgusted. I'm so sad - and the vet feels so bad over this freak occurrence he won't charge me anything since I'm tutoring his son this summer and has given me pick of his private herd to replace the horse. It's hard for me to tell him I really don't want a replacement, I want the horse I bought as a baby and spent the last three years starting back, but his heart's in the right place and I feel so bad for him even though I cannot find anyway things could have gone differently. Any other vet would have done the same thing, and Rebel could have slipped the intestine anyplace else as well. It's not like he didn't have the best of care and was watched closely. And it happened so fast, under watchful eyes. I can't imagine if I'd taken him home already. It could have happened on the trip back, or worse, overnight and then things would have been really bad in the morning. The only good thing that came out of this was that Rebel probably never was in pain. He still was slightly drugged from the surgery and most likely never felt anything. That's the only thing that I can think of that makes me feel any better.

Maybe there's a bigger picture out there, but as Rebel was a replacement to the filly that was killed three years ago, I thought he was the bigger picture - and I just can't see where this is going anymore.

Weekend Getaway!

Nate and I have decided to try and make an overnight or weekend escape more often. Of course this is depending on who can watch his daughter, but this weekend grandma was out of town and since we have no problems with grandpa she was able to stay there.


This is where we stayed in Pueblo - the Abriendo Inn Bed and Breakfast. It's an old historic building that reminds me SOOO much of many of the homes up in Houghton, MI; such as the AGD house! We stayed up on the 3rd floor. It was beautiful, quiet and relaxing...and the breakfast was super yummy! Nate also had flowers and chocolate strawberries waiting for me!

We needed to get away not just for us, but because I'm rapidly finding I have nothing to wear. I had purchased a few lots of used and new cloths off eBay, and those provided me with a pair of jean, a few capris and shorts as well as some shirts. I also ordered a few shirts from Old Navy, but found their mediums were really huge on me. Despite getting a few cute and comfortable items, I quickly found I needed to try some clothes on.

I went shopping at our local Maurice's and picked out a few drapy shirts that would last me through the pregnancy and beyond, but I wanted more.

We hit Old Navy, Kohls, Target, VC, Ross and JC Penny's. I bought 7 maternity items because there were all off about 12 racks of clothes between all of them - or non at all in the case of Old Navy. Ross actually had the best selection and what there was elsewhere looked like a bedsheet - both print and size taken into consideration.

HOWEVER - not all was lost as shirts are running to longer styles, loose and drapy styles are in, and everything was on sale this weekend. Nate bought me anything I tried on he liked and I liked and we went home with a truck full of pants, shorts, shirts, underwear and even regular sized bathing suits in larger sizes. So - thank GOD for the newer cute and comfortable styles! Old Navy in particular had a lot of different things in shirts, dresses and elastic waisted skirts. Kohls had cute shirts, JC Penny had great bathing suit options and Target had great jeans. Ross had everything and I strongly recommend that pregnant women shop there since the prices are so cheap also!

Before we drove home Nate had to run by and pick up some work items and dropped me off at Barnes and Noble. I am book starved in the valley so this is always a great treat. He always leaves me with money and then sees how far I can make it stretch...

EXCEPT .... when I walked into the store this time I was greeted by this:

It was like the holy grail of reading items shining as a beacon from the doorway. I kid you not. I was drawn to picking it up and playing against my will. Everytime I walked away I had to go back...and that's where Nate found me a half hour later, about 20 steps in the front door with one in my hand.

But - before you all think he told me to put it down and walk away...slowly....there is a story surrounding eReaders in our house. I have a billion books and everyone makes fun of me for that fact, especially when I move. Nate decided I need an eReader to save his back. Now, nothing can truly replace the feel of having a real book open in your hands, the smell and crinkles of the pages, the dog ears and favorite marked passages - BUT - there is something nice about being able to carry around more than one book at a time in a format smaller than the average novel. He bought me a Sony reader for Christmas. I didn't like it. No 3G networking, wireless, etc....I wanted a Kindle. So we returned the Sony and never bought the Kindle.

Then I walked into Barnes and Noble and saw the NOOK. I got to play with it. Talk with a sales person. Ask questions. Play with it. Try out cases and touch them. Play with it. It has a touch screen, automatic WI-FI, 3G networking, internet, freebie books, $5 to $12 book options, an extra USB reader card if you fill it up with more than 1500 titles, games, music - the list goes on!

I love it and Nate let me bring one home with me. He even picked out a case. We may not have the 3G network available in our little valley (we only have Verizon), but it can hook up to any Wi-Fi as well as the computer for downloads.

I'm a comparison freak and thought about the Kindle for years. I really wanted one and taking a NOOK home with me was almost flying blind - however, I'm very impressed and have even dealt with the customer service and was SUPER happy with how I was treated.

Two thumbs up in my world. We're broke now - but the trip was sure worth it!

Terms That Evade Me

Anyone who knows me or has followed my blog knows how I keep myself busy...and also how when events occur in my life they tend to take on the resemblance of a whirlwind. Take my wedding as an example, or even my pregnancy. Despite the fact we were engaged at the beginning of July and married at the end of November many people thought we should have given more time. I'm glad we didn't because there was enough drama built up over such a short time in planning, but I'm still getting used to the married life. Now compound that with being pregnant and having the busiest and most stressful spring work-wise ever.

Husband

Wife

Step-mother

Mother

Pregnancy

Birth (ahhhhhhhh!)

Baby

In-laws (boo, hiss, boooooooooooo)

Anyway - those a a few of the terms that just don't quite roll off this independent gals tongue quite so easily yet. It really hasn't helped that I haven't had much time to actually sit down and contemplate life in a long, long time either.

I don't see this as irresponsible as I still make sure I'm as responsible as ever concerning anything that has come into my life, but I find myself sitting on the couch some evenings after a long day waking from what I can only describe as 'automatic mode', and looking around myself like I'm only just realizing this is all real.

It's a strange and unsettling feeling. I hate going through the motions of certain tasks feeling completely removed from them - such as being instant mom. Nate's daughter and I haven't had the easiest few months this spring as she continue to defy myself and her teachers now after visits with grandma. We tried everything from short visits to overnighters, asked grandma to be on the same page as us concerning behavior, following lines of questioning that doesn't involved how much she misses her and how she should visit more and more along the lines of what she does and school and home - but to no avail. Visits result in swearing, tattling, falsely accusing other children, pushing and acting violent towards other children. After a week of no visits these seem to dissipate - so guess what? No more visits. It also puts a horrid stress on the marriage and things are much calmer in the house when there is no acting up. I've put my foot down with behavior - either everyone behaves like adults or leave until you can. I can't handle the stress. It's working just fine so far.

Wouldn't it be nice to have a family member to trust to watch the kids? I'm afraid that's not written in the stars for this marriage. We're on our own. That combined with her increasing criticism of everything involving me (basically the fact Nate is still married to me - seriously - what a horrible concept eh?), the MIL is pretty much cut out of our lives. And my mother hasn't said a peep to me about my pregnancy all surrounding the facts we had a house before the wedding and I was upset for 30 seconds after getting left with the salon bill the morning of the wedding. I guess when you get married in my family you are supposed to walk away from the family you grew up with. Whatever.

I'm not really in a bad mood or anything, it's just that as things have slowed down I'm finally starting to look at the issues that have been going on that I've been maybe complaining about, but avoiding due to time constraints. Overall the situation concerning parent's is quite bleak - and bothersome. And quite honestly I'm at a point in my pregnancy that I'm not dealing with everyone else anymore. For almost 6 months it's been about trying to make things right whenever there is a spare second, addressing household issues, conferencing with pre-school teachers and psychologists, dealing with school budget woes and the classroom. It think time has come for me.

When I sat down the other night all I could think was, "Oh my GOD I'm PREGNANT!". I believe that was a bit more than a 'little' delay in my thinking.

23 weeks today. Leave the girls out of it. They make everything seem 3 times larger than normal. If they don't get under control later the word 'reduction' will become an intimate part of their vocabulary. Here that gals? After nursing you are going back to normal. This is your one and only warning. I can't afford the size you are. It's too weird and nobody carries it. Are you readers ready for the size? Scroll down....

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34F with no end in site (I'm normally a 32D)....right now I'm squeezing into a 36 D which is the best I could do in the valley. I'm heading to Pueblo this weekend to attempt to remedy the situation. I need support!!! I don't like porn star girls.

Titanicized!

Kudos to Bolte for first guessing the theme. The days leading up to Prom were interesting, meaning I'm using the most polite term I can use. The Juniors decided to charge $5 a head to get in (yes, yes I know - we all paid LOTS way back when, but for some reason, despite spending thousands there isn't usually a cover charge). This caused all sorts of controversy, including some serious verbal abuse sent my way by some parent's. All we could explain was this was a Junior class vote and they were the ones who needed to take responsibility. I know, I know - all over $5. I can't explain it either.

However, once the day of Prom arrived I didn't much care. This is what I woke up to the day before, so there was some worry about weather since we'd turned all the heaters off to keep the 'ceiling' from blowing all over. But it ended up being just fine as Saturday dawned sunny and cool instead of blowing and snowy!

I managed to get some pictures of everything the evening before since we'd be psycho busy the day of - and sure enough we were. These pretty much represent what there was even though all the tables and chairs weren't set up yet.

This is our ice float where the live four piece orchestra played. Just like in the movie "Titanic"!

And the centerpieces I put together! They were a big hit!

What's Prom without a few pics? I had serious debates over what to wear as the dress I bought looked like a tent on me. I just couldn't do it so I rifled through the closet and found this drapy bodysuit I bought a few years back, wore once and forgot about. It was perfect and comfortable. I hate how much weight I've put on through my face more than anything else. I can't wait to be able to P-90X again. Nate takes horrible pictures (it's a standing joke with everyone who's ever taken our pictures) but I thought you might like to see the belly at 22 weeks.

Rude

That's what my girls are. Rude. They don't want to fit into anything, don't look the best for my small frame, aren't cooperating at all, don't want to go anywhere and certainly don't want to dress up. All they do it get in the way also. I swear I heard one of them tell the other to, "watch this..." the other night when I rolled over. How inconsiderate.

My husband has named my belly 'Hank'. Why? I'm not sure. But if you remember we used to have a Turkey he named Hank. I think it's a name he uses for anything he has found an affinity for. However Hank the turkey turned into 'Hank the Sunday dinner' after he flogged the crap out of Nate one day. I'm not sure I like the belly called after Sunday dinner. If Hank Williams Jr. was his Muse on this one I'd be totally cool with that, but personally, I think the belly thinks it's a bit rude.

Speaking of the belly...it's getting a little inconsiderate of the space it has been allotted so far. I feel like a science experiment and I strongly recommend never watching the movie "Aliens" if you plan on being pregnant and have yet to see it. The movement I can feel and now see just reminds me a little bit too much of that. I expect something to pop out singing, "hello my baby, hello my darling..." from the "Aliens" spoof. It's creepy and, well, rude....

I did receive the dress I ordered. However my body isn't cooperating and it is a little large. Can't pregnancy clothes be made to 'grow with' the pregnancy so I don't have issues with all the in between crap? I think I can make due with it, but a size medium, a size 32 with the growing girls aren't matching up well. Find a bra in that size and pregnancy clothes made to fit. All straps fall off my shoulders, the belly is too small for most clothing, yet the front completely fills out. How can that be with straps falling off? Can't pregnancy clothes be made for smaller frames that have large girls to begin with? Ones that grow with the belly too? I don't think much thought is put into that... I'm just worried the since my girls are rude they aren't going to cooperate the night of Prom.


Prom is still killing me. I'm a 'jump in and do' person, especially when I see things that need to be done and there are people standing around not doing it. It makes me crazy so I go do it - then I get yelled at for being around paint fumes, getting up on ladders or carrying heavy objects. Don't yell if you aren't willing to do it!!! Seriously!!!

The canned response of, "too much homework" is used by all students who have not been applying wise time management or are otherwise pissed off at a teacher. If I have given a student a week on an assignment and they wait until the last minute it honestly isn't my fault. I don't understand why they complain to parent's or administrators about teachers who are more than fair concerning this issue because they are crabby. It's rude and doesn't speak well of personal integrity.

Consumed

This Prom thing is totally consuming all my time. Not like there was a lot extra to begin with, but when I'm not getting home until 8pm or later it does get a little trying. ONE MORE WEEK! What does suck is the dress I ordered still has not arrived and the chick DID NOT track it because it was to my PO box. Hate to tell her you can track to a PO so that isn't an excuse and if I don't get it soon I want my money back. Leaves me up a creek though as I'm not sure I have anything I fit in anymore appropriate for a formal event.

So let's see if you all can get this figured out! I'm not saying what's been guessed now as I don't want to give anything away! I know it doesn't look like much - but when the lights are out (as they should be - lighting is from our own effects) it looks awesome! And yes, that is my husband in the second picture. I made him bring the tools we so desperately needed.

I've noticed it's really hard to get clear pictures under fluorescent lighting (such as in the gym). Any ideas how to fix this when taking pictures? I've messed with all kinds of settings with almost always the same results.

Any more of you hazard to take a guess on the theme? I think it's getting more and more obvious!!!

Mooooooo!

For reals. I feel like a cow. I can't wait for my front to shrink back to normal. And yes I know it only gets worse from here and I have awhile to go. I also keep forgetting things. Last week I left my keys at the post office and couldn't pick them up until this morning because I didn't even realize until Saturday afternoon. I also am suddenly really sick again. I'd rather it be due to pregnancy than what I think it is...the stomach flu. But yet here I am stoic at school making everyone else sick I'm sure. Not the smartest thing, but until I get more sick days for maternity leave I can't afford to miss any more school. I am going to try and get out of prom decorating tonight however. In the meantime, here I am at 20 weeks. Nice flattering pic huh? Yes I'm talking on the cell in my classroom.

This is the dress I ordered for Prom. I really didn't want to get a dress but I figured I could use it again in the future anyway so why not. Obviously it's used. I love ebay. The only thing I'm worried about it that it will be too big. I have two other dresses that are still huge on me. I know I feel huge, but right now I can't imagine how much bigger I'm obviously going to be. I usually wear a Small or Medium so I've ordered everything in Mediums, and they pretty much fall off me. I've been getting by with bella bands and my normal pants and regular tops. There are a few maternity pants with the low bands that work, but all the shirts are huge.

Here's the progression of Prom. We keep getting setbacks. It's lovely. Nobody has guessed the theme yet!

And for those of you who have been wondering what ever happened to the pups we adopted; I found a home for one, and the other has stayed with us. I think I'd like to find her a home to though. Four dogs is a bit much for me and Nate doesn't do anything with them even though he wanted these dogs (why am I not surprised?). This is the runt, Brees. She's very well behaved but a complete puss. She cries if Dixie looks sideways at here and don't be around if she gets pinned down - you'd think someone was killing her it's that bad. When I have her on her own she's great. I had her at decorating all day last week and she just hung out - never a peep. She needs a good home. Any takers?

It's.....

... a baby....

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.... a child.....

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....a lifeform weighing me down.....

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....in my belly.....

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....making me gain strange weight (10lbs since my last visit when I'm averaging only 2 or 3/month? I think something's off)......

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....causing strange things to happen to me.......

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.....making me cranky occasionally......

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...making my teeth hurt....bad....and I've never had a cavity before...but I think I do now....

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....making me tired a lot.....

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....oh yeah......

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A BOY!!!

When Time Doesn't Belong to Me Anymore...

Which is a typical problem when you become a teacher, unfortunately.

Easter rocked! Sorry I don't have any pictures, but I kept leaving my camera in places - the truck, Nate's truck, my friends table, etc... I decided that holidays are supposed to be stress-free. If family causes stress then they don't need to celebrate holidays with us. Christmas was horrid. I was basically 'kicked out' of the festivities in my own home when it was invaded by family. I declared 'stress free' holidays only after that.

We went to mass, a Mexican buffet and then a friends house for both children's and adult egg hunts and more food. We were home at a decent time, relaxed, played video games, and just hung out. It was the best family holiday yet!

Which was a good thing - because until April 24th - this is what I'm doing every night and most weekends. Remember when I said Prom has about a $9000 budget? This is why:

Let's see if you can't figure out the theme as it comes together over the next few weeks!

Maybe I'll hold a contest!

A Boy? The Myths I Experience

I don't find out officially until the 8th, but here's why everyone thinks so:

I could only eat carbs (fresh breads, bagels, some pasta) with cheese, cottage cheese and fruit during my first trimester.

No serious morning sickness, just constant nausea.

Higher fetal heart beat for the first and second trimester so far- I average between 150 and 160 bpm

I'm carrying to the front (like I have a melon under my shirt). And I'm high already.

The Chinese Conception Chart says since I'm 31 and conceived in December it's a boy.

I know there really is no accuracy to any of this, but here's to wishful thinking....have I mentioned I would prefer a boy over a girl? Call it selfish, and a girl would be just as loved, but right now I've about had it with having a girl in the household and I can't quite imagine another one right now (guess what? She's in trouble again...through the MIL influence no less). Give me a little boy who gets into everything, doesn't mind getting dirty and loves his momma.

Anyone ever staple their finger? I just did. I'm not multitasking quite so well being pregnant. Ouch.

Have I also mentioned I'm a co-sponsor of Prom? It's on the 24th. We have a $9000 budget. Can I say how crazy and BIG this thing is...oh yeah, and that I now live at the school.

Thought I'd explain the high heart beat for a boy - that's for early on in the pregnancy. Girls typically have higher heart beats in the late 3rd trimester, boys are lower. The tale refers to the higher heart beat early on. I actually asked my doctor about this and he said sometimes this happens, but that both sexes pretty much fall between 140 and 160bpm before the last few weeks and that the consistant higher heart beat translating into being a boy is an 'old wives tale'.