Friday, August 02, 2013

For Mother's Everywhere

To the lady I chewed out at the pool this morning,
When you first tapped my on my shoulder with the smile on your face as I finished up swim lesson with a little three year old, I thought you were going to make a supportive comment about my two year old who was standing by the side of the pool crying because he wasn't getting his way with me at JUST THIS MINUTE. To my absolute horror you commented,quote, "I've never been a mother, but can't you stop that noise so we don't have to listen to it." in front of the young mother picking up her child from me, with a baby on her hip and to a young mother who is obviously pregnant. Normally I may have just said to you that I was sorry you felt that way and walked away, but instead I choose to bite back because I have watched you pretend you own this public pool the entire summer, complaining about group lessons and children in your way day after day. I am tired of your selfish behavior. Everything I said you deserve, you bitter old woman who has never had the opportunity to feel the love of a child. I actually feel sorry for you.

I will reiterate everything I said - that it's obvious you never have been a mother or been the caretaker of a young child, or you would never DARE say that to anyone. You were in a public pool, where all ages are welcome, and I can guarantee that swim lessons generate more income than you coming to walk laps everyday does, so pick another pool where children are not welcome, if you can.

And when you chose to turn to your friend to complain further, I am glad that I continued my tirade against you as you said you were glad you had never been a mother, because you wouldn't have been able to handle an crying child.  Exactly right, because you would have made a lousy mother with that attitude.

You have no idea how lucky you are that I spoke to you in conversational tones and did not raise my rather loud, argumentative voice for the entire pool to hear instead of those immediately around us.
I also noticed you removed yourself to the dressing room rather hastily afterwards. I hope it was because you were embarrassed because I bet nobody has ever bothered to put you in your place before. And would you like to know why? When you speak like that to a mother who is balancing the act of dealing with her child and correct behavior, you embarrass them to the point of speechlessness. You make them feel like they are doing something wrong. You ridicule them and attack their innermost fears that they are not the best mother afterall. 

Who are YOU to make that judgement? Again I say, how dare you. Unfortunately for you, today I made the decision not to hang my head and turn away as I have watched others do in similar situations. Yes, you did succeed in making me feel all those horrible, hurtful things, but I also absolutely refused to back down to you. I made that split second decision because I watched you bully children and instructors all summer, and I am done with it.

The management here has done its best to placate you and those you upset regularly so as to keep good customer relations. They too are sick of your behavior, and how you treat their customers and teenage employees. But guess what? I'm not a teenager. I'm a 35 year old woman with a career and family who chooses to teach swimming because I enjoy it. I'm not the youngster who will keep my mouth shut, and you can also be sure that I informed the owner of how I chewed you out and why. I hope you complained about me. They also have young children.

You are a bully. And I pity you that you cannot even fathom what it is to be a mother. Perhaps you couldn't have children, maybe you chose not to; whatever the reason, you have no right to have made the decision to be embittered by those who do have them and project that bitterness upon others.

And I WILL be back at the pool. Often.