Saturday, December 16, 2006

Warning! Please read fine print...

Anybody have some sort of fluorescent lighting in their house? Bathroom, kitchen, etc... Does anybody actually know just how much pressure those bulbs are under? Well, I just found out the hard way. And no, I wasn't actually stupid enough to break one; on purpose.

Know how strange things people only hear about always seem to happen to me? I have a new one, and this may actually beat out the current champ holder...The Beaver Incident.

This I am going to title: The Fluorescent Light Company is Going to be Sued Incident Because There was NO Fine Print. A bit long? I'm tired and will come up with something shorter eventually. First off, I'm just going to suggest that a warning is put on fluorescent lights explaining they are under extreme pressure and are, in short, little bombs. Let me explain:

I'm tired. Was up late last night, was woken up by coyotes, and pretty much was getting no sleep. I actually may have been almost asleep when this most recent event occurred, because I was very confused but remember what I heard in detail. A few months ago my bathroom light began to flicker and I bought a replacement at Walmart. These are those super long, skinny bulbs - not regular bulbs. I couldn't just buy one, two came in the package. Seeing as I am a disaster area, I decided this extra bulb needed to be put someplace safe and out of the way to avoid breakage. I placed it behind my bedroom door against the wall. I figured this was a safe enough place as it is kind of a nook and completely out of the way. And it's been fine there for weeks now.

Last night, about 4:45 am, I hear this 'POP' like a small caliber gun going off, a crunching glass noise, what sounded like a bunch of rocks thrown at my ceiling and then a bunch of that order. My first thought was that somebody just shot through my window and I reached for my phone. But then I realized the dogs weren't doing anything and there wasn't any cold air coming into the room, so I turned on the light...which reflected off millions of pieces of glass covering the room. I got the dogs out and looked closer at the situation.

The bedroom door was part way closed, and somehow the bulb had fallen over and hit a doorstop I have. On impact it had exploded, bouncing pieces of glass off my ceiling where they shattered and spread across my room. If you ask me that's some serious pressure.

It doesn't stop there. Now I have to try and get this picked up, so I pulled out the vacuum and pretty much vacuumed everything in the room. The curtains, the laundry, the bed, inside my shoes, etc...and sucked up a sock. This is so typical isn't it? I fight getting the hose off forever, manage not to break anything too bad, but did bend a butter knife up (don't ask) and retrieved my sock so I could continue vacuuming without starting a fire.

But it still doesn't stop there. Dixie is in the bathroom, Sedona outside, Mav's in the kitchen. I figure it's a safe enough place for him and I've given him a bone to occupy his time as well. Seems that wasn't good enough, and as I am trying to put my vacuum back together I hear a huge crash from the kitchen. Mav is standing ON the counter, a plate of Christmas cookies are gone and he has knocked another onto the floor, sending broken glass and crumbled cookies EVERYWHERE.

My bedroom and kitchen floors are spotless. I think I may be finding microscopic shards of glass for the next few years though.


Erika said...

that's crazy!
glad no one was hurt.

Crystal said...

I think that could be material for a Will Ferrell movie. :)

Your place sounds really neat, by the way. I think it'd be cool to visit.

alanna rose said...

only, you.

I remember a piss call at Lambda Chi's that included a flourescent black light fallen from the ceiling and onto the dance floor, those things are deadly!

Laura said...

I think that you should be compiling these stories into a "Only could happen to Danielle" book! ;)
Glad that all survived!

jonesy said...

The Beaver Incident

LOL. Do tell.

Bryan Gahan said...

On the bright side they are only filled with Mercury vapor.

mel_fitz said...

jeez! I'll have to remember that cause we have fl. lights in our house. glad no one was hurt!