But wait...that's not all that has me in a tizzy. This gal also is starting to bust out of her cloths...oh wait, that's me starting to look like a milk cow (with short hair because I cut it all off - but ignore that. It IS growing back):Lots and lots of mixed feeling concerning this. If you happen to glance at the timer at the top of how long I've been married, you will realize why I left that up there...so y'all can get an idea on the timing of this one. Namely I've been married about 11 weeks. Guess what? I've been pregnant just shy of 11 weeks. Nice eh? So this is me at 13 weeks.
I've also been sick, frustrated with the lack of support I have here, and all those feeling concerning my step-daughter? Now compound them with the normal fears of a first pregnancy - namely if I'm having such a hard time getting it together with her, what in the world is going to happen when another little one comes along?
I know, the advice I'm going to get is just wait - it will all work itself out. I hate to say it though - but that doesn't help right now. I'm terrified of this whole thing.
Yes, we are excited. Don't get me wrong. I don't look at this as a curse or anything, it's just that I wasn't prepared mentally for this and it really didn't seem real until I heard the heartbeat at 8 weeks, and even then it wasn't until I had an ultrasound, and my cloths stopped fitting that reality dawned on me.
Yes - it took awhile to wrap my mind around it. But what I really want right now is to stop being sick. That is what is overwhelming my life and coloring my interpretations of all that is going on around me. It isn't letting up and I would like a little bit of my life back so I can deal with everything else.
What were the best things you had while pregnant? For nausea, insomnia, clothing, etc...