Preview

I survived. It was interesting, but once I was down the aisle nothing mattered anymore.

Getting to the church. Dad surprised us with a Navigator Limo. It rocked!I think my dad was more nervous. The salon that did my hair and makeup said I was the calmest bride they'd ever seen. I think it was the Mimosa that did it.

The bestman (my bro) and groomsmen tux's didn't match. Nate's was wrong also. The only major issue of the day - which I didn't notice until afterwards anyway. However, I think the place should give money back to my brother and Nate for screwing it up. I checked the info that was given to them, what they wrote down and what they received. They aren't the same. My fur. LOL

Drama

This getting married thing is the pits. Actually, let me rephrase that: This wedding thing is the pits.

If I could listen to everyone's advice and just say, "hey, it's my day, I want it this way," I then start World War III. However, if anyone would actually listen to me then maybe things would be okay.

To all future brides out there - elope. The drama surrounding that will die down and you will save yourself some serious issues before, during and after the planning process. I was even silly enough to think that since I'm 1500 miles from where the wedding is taking place the drama was at a minimum and would be next to nothing since it was already taken care of - before I arrived in town. However, I have learned that drama waits for you, lurking and waiting until it can jump you in person.

If you insist on a wedding - be bridezilla. If you don't, somebody else will take on that role. I promise. Then you have to jump to their tune instead. Just do it yourself and listen to everyone complain about you - it's better than having to complain about somebody else when it's your wedding anyway.

For those of you who said your big day went off without a hitch and very little drama; either 1) I don't believe you or 2) I want some of the pills you were taking.

The Point of No Return

I'm having issues. But seriously, when am I not? I'm getting married Saturday. It's just hitting me. I have trouble taking on myself - and I'm taking on another adult and a 5 year old? I am changing my last name, but I am starting to have problems with it. Just identity problems. Like will I still be me-me? That and I NEVER want anyone to mistake me for my mother-in-law due to a last name.

The next post I assume will have wedding pictures. Hope for decent weather Saturday.

Here's the cake from the Birthday Party. For never having made a cake before I think I did well. The toppers are toys, no way I had time to shape and mold those babies out - it was like a birthday party ON the birthday cake.

15 Days and Counting...

Thanks for all the great comments on the last post. It's just a very new situation and I want to do right despite my selfish 'wants' every now and then.

These next two weeks are crazy. Literally. We're throwing Nate's daughter a birthday party tomorrow and I need to make a cake tonight, I have a reining and horsemanship clinic on Sunday, the bridesmaid's jewelry still needs to be made, I promised a friend I would help her with a P@mpered Chef party next week, I have two days of teacher development days before Thanksgiving, I have 40 papers to grade and am giving exams next week, my brochures are not done because I still don't know what goes in them and I have to get the license information taken care of online so we can pick it up when we get into Michigan the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Then we have to take care of the reception stuff here in CO the weekend we get back because we're on our own with this one with no local family help.

Elopement sounds good.

I always think of the billion things I want to blog about when I'm out and about, but then when I sit in front of the computer I'm overwhelmed with what I 'should' be doing. Things will get back to 'my normal' again soon. I hope.

Being a Mom is Hard

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I think, "what in God's name have I gotten myself into?" Being a mom is hard. Being an instant mom is hard. I never had the opportunity with Nate's daughter to watch her grow into the little 'young miss' she is today. Some days I *gasp* really don't like her. She's five on Wednesday, and whereas I'm well aware this is the age of 'pushing' and lying and trying to find boundaries, some days I wonder is she has ever been a sweet little girl.

But she is. And those days only happen occasionally, but it makes me feel guilty when I don't like her. I wonder if it's because I feel I'm being watched closely. Somebody is waiting for me to make a huge mistake.

Only I'm not going to. Because not only am I doing the best I can; I think back on all the changes this little girl has gone through in the last six months.

Six months ago she screamed when she saw a dog. Was scared to pet a cat. Whined that chickens were going to hurt her. Figured 'please' and 'thank you' were words belonging to some other society. Abused other children through words and actions. Had no friends. Couldn't socially relate to children her age. Etc, etc, etc...

Now she drags my dogs around, has her own kitten she won't leave alone, feeds chickens, horses and goats, says please and thank you a little more regularly, decided fighting with children would get her few friends and now talks about whom she plays with at school each day, and basically is a normal little five year old.

She also has a bed time. Doesn't watch TV for extended periods. Reads books and makes up stories. Sits down to dinner as a family each night. Has chores and responsibilities.

But in some circles (and the ex-wife doesn't count 'cause she's on drugs or something) I'm a bad person. Or at least totally disrespected and not even considered except as a threat.

So maybe being a mom isn't so hard all the time, but it is hard living under a microscope all the time.

Nate comes with a LOT of baggage.

Shirley and ... ?

We love Shirley, the little white goat, but Hank just isn't cutting it for the boy. Basically because Nate named the Turkey Hank and we're butchering him next weekend. He's mean. Nate's depressed about it. We just can't resurrect him into a goat.

I'm still feeling under the weather. I'm going to guess I've had the swine flu and now am dealing with the respiratory aftermath. How much fun is that?

School's been busy, especially with having missed a few days due to illness. My students are having to finish up quarter unit finals and take incompletes on their report cards until I can get everyone's presentations finished up. It's been a zoo! And we have conferences tonight. Oh joy.

Halloween was pretty low keyed. Nate's daughter was The Hulk. Sure beat a princess in my world. We went into town with some friends, hit a few houses and then all went out to dinner and drinks. It was fun and social but I had to turn in early as I was exhausted! This sickness has just taken it out of me! Despite living inthe country, we did carve a pumpkin and placed it on the porch for the night. I let it burn out. It was sort of a cool, homey rural thing to do.

While in Michigan I had my hair lightly colored to get rid of all the sun bleached tones and trimmed up! I really like it but I never do my hair so it's lost on me. I wish I was better about that. I also got new glasses. Wrigley 'ate' mine last spring (I needed a new pair anyway so it wasn't that big of a deal) and finally broke down and bought these. I love them! I know I look all pasty and sickly, but oh well.

Nate and I got busy with wedding favors over the weekend. I looked and looked and just couldn't find what I wanted and couldn't justify spending a few hundred dollars on candy. Then I started looking at things like cookie cutters, cards, etc. Still couldn't find anything that was grabbing me...until I found little gift cards made of paper pressed with seeds and an idea was born! I wasn't going to spend a billion dollars on these things, but what if I made them myself? So I found a site that sells the paper in sheets, bought a few odds and ends and about $70 later I have enough supplies to make over 200 gift cards and leftover supplies for future projects. That's WAY less than what I budgeted to spend on 100 guests and we have two receptions (one in MI and one in CO). Go me. Look how cute! And there's a little poem on the back about planting them in the spring so they can grow!

Sick

I'm sick. I got sick about 3 hours into my trip to MI and stayed that way. I'm sorry I didn't get to see anyone. I'm still sick.

It's Snowing

And I'm supposed to Drive to the Springs at 4:30 am tomorrow. However it's supposed to be clear and sunny by then all over Colorado. Welcome to a Colorado winter. I think it's here.

So I'll be in Detroit tomorrow. Whoohoo!

I'm Disappearing

Not really, but I want to. I got the bug. It was like the 16 hour bug. I thought I was going to die. I still don't feel that good but since this place has been booked - I'm going. I'll be back tomorrow after I do some shopping in a town that actually has more than two stores in it.

Whoops! I guess my photobucket account was inactive so my background was MIA! Sorry for the inconvenience!

Alternate Universe? ...and a contest...

Earth to Danielle? Are you still here? I think I have stepped into the Twilight Zone. Seriously. As if the 'appetizers and drinks' issue from the last post wasn't enough...guess what the newest complaint is (and I'd like to note this isn't coming from just the in-laws)?

I'm having a hard time believing this. Can we have a reality check for me here please? Please? I have the Twilight Zone theme song running through my head. It's creepy. What world have I stepped into? Ok - follow this newest complaint against us:

"So I went online to the Target registry. And do you know what they have on there? They want a coffee maker and wine glasses!" *gasp*

Are you serious? This is a problem why? I'm a bad person because I want nice wine glasses and a decent coffee maker? This women has never even met me!!!

I guess the verdict is in. I AM the devil re-incarnate.

However, I have new additions to the family and they need names...

THE CONTEST

Because my brain is fried (for obvious reasons) I need suggestions. These little buggers have made a home with me. They are Nigerian Dwarf Goats (however I think they have a pygmy goat cross in there somewhere). The difference? Nigerian dwarfs are milking goats and cycle every 3 weeks, so they can get preggers about anytime. Pygmys are meat goats and cycle seasonally. One of these guys is a male (the dark one) and the other a female (the white one). She could be pregnant even though they are only about 6 months old. Great. Babies in spring are fine, but not winter. But maybe I got lucky and if they are crossed she won't cycle until spring. Anywho- They are really cute and tiny (only come up to my knees) and are basically full grown.

And they need names. Please name them. I can't think of names.

Here's the boy:

And the girl:

Aren't they precious?

Random

I know I've never really explained the story of Nate and myself to anyone, so I thought I'd throw in a few bites here and there...with explanations of course...


My girl Tiff found Nate half naked on her roof and 'brought him home'.
Nate has a construction company and Tiff was coming home from a run when she saw him with his shirt off (She sort of channels Samantha from Sex and the City). Anyway - she brought him to dinner at her aunt and uncles where we often convene Friday Nights for dinner and drinks. Basically the rest is history.

Nate didn't technically propose.
I was out of town for work and was texting him one night. Out of frustration and joking around with him I said he should marry me and put me out of my misery. He said nothing would make him happier. Two days later while lazing around at my house he said, "you know, I was serious about that." I sort of was like whatever. Then we started talking, then he asked if I would marry him if he asked, I replied I suppose I would, he was like, "would you really?"...and I was all, "are you asking?" He said yes, I said technically you haven't asked, he said would you? I said yes...nuff said.

Being an instant mom is an issue.
It's hard raising someone else's kid. Really. Some days I think she really likes me, but then she gets all diabolical and bratty and attention seeking simply when Nate gives me a kiss hi. She's seriously bossy and I had to actually sit her down and talk to her about being bossy with her 'imaginary' friends of all things! It was that bad! I guess this is one of those wait and see what happens situations. I'm trying.

School is crazy.
7th year teaching. 5th new Principal. Do I need to say anymore?

Planning a wedding is making me nuts.
Though it's low key - I'd like to dictate for once. It's not happening. Oh well. I guess somebody has to be brideszilla. It just isn't me.

Our reception here in the valley includes Appetizers and Drinks.
Does anyone see anything wrong with that wording? Anyone? Anyone? Certain members (yes, multiple) of Nate's REALLY screwed up family believe that means 'boozefest'. Seriously? I'll show you boozefest baby... When they pay for ANYTHING...SOMETHING...then maybe they can dictate what's going on. Until then I would like my glass of wine while I mingle. And Nate will enjoy his beer. Thanks. If that makes us alcoholics then LABEL US BABY! YEEHAAA!

Ok - needed to get that off my chest. I guess that's just a few less items we won't be getting off our registries. Oh well.

By the way. I have a few new 'kids' that have joined the family. Get it? Kids? Pictures in the next post...

Where Does the Fun Come In?

Obviously with the women I work with at this point in my life. They made it real for me this weekend with a Bachalorette Party. They rented a suite for me at a local hotel, took me to dinner and had a Passion Party Consultant. It was a riot! I haven't laughed that much in a long time. My abs hurt.

It brought the fun back to this whole thing. It seriously has become a bit of an ordeal with all the drama. After this weekend, "the drama from the momma" can stick it you know where...



Here's a few of the ladies early in the evening before I was allowed into the suite. I thought the boas were a nice touch. That's a princess crown on my head but it didn't fit very good.

BUSY!!!

So school, future MIL drama, Nate ex-wife drama, school...oh yeah and this wedding thing...

Invites are going out TODAY! Yeah - I finally got them finished. I've just been really busy with everything. Real big surprise there eh?

I actually had somebody rip into me about why we're having the wedding after Thanksgiving. Huh? Basically 'cause we don't want to wait until next summer, and Christmas is too crazy? Or if we have it at Thanksgiving we can honeymoon at spring break? Or...why do you care, just don't come?

We know it's a busy time of year - and if people can't make it, then I guess people can't make it! It's okay! We just wanted to be sure to invite everyone we could! I guess putting out the invites sort of makes this final. Anyone else ever have that feeling? It's really weird.

On the same note - we are very serious about this - if somebody cannot make it to the wedding due to family plans, new babies, holiday plans, distance, etc...we totally understand! Really!

I've basically thrown in the towel concerning caring about much. What's going to happen is going to happen. Bottom line? Nate and I are getting married in less than 2 months! YEAH!

Bachalorette party this weekend. Some of the gals thought we should have some fun. Could be interesting...

FYI - I'll be in D-town from Oct. 22nd to the 25th. Finalizing some stuff and maybe seeing some of those new babies out there?!

Not All Can Kiss My Rear End

I don't want you all to think life is miserable ALL the time. Actually, it isn't at all. Just a bit trying. I've waited a long time to meet a great guy and I'm not going to give anyone any reason to believe I don't deserve him. I just need a ranting post every now and then...

Burning the fields behind the house a few weeks ago. I didn't know this was happening and heard the roar while trying to unpack in the back room. Being a wildland firefighter I knew what it was, but it freaked me out until I saw that it was a controlled burn through the dry grass. Then it was just fun to watch!

The poultry can roam free here!!! They are so such happy little (and not so little) birds! Notice how the Turkey is always strutting his stuff? He's a Blue Slate and weighs about 50 lbs. Nate has named him 'Hank', and won't let me have him butchered - however he's getting a little aggressive and I might bring him to auction anyway.

We have apples!!! It's just a little tree, but there were a half dozen on it this year. Unfortunately we had a horrid wind storm and now they are all on the ground. I did go get them but they are a bit tart!

All That and More

You'd think that people would be happy that I treat Nate's daughter as my own. You'd think that there could be concern she wasn't my number one priority, and that when I had my own children she would be put to the side, but that my actions speak otherwise. You'd think that because she's so obviously important to me that I would not be ridiculed and abused. Whatever. If Nate makes a decision that isn't agreed upon it's my fault. The woman has been waiting years for someone like me; a whipping boy; her own personal scapegoat. My looks are wrong, my age is wrong, my religion is wrong...

I feel like I am the embodiment of all that is wrong with this world right now - let's not look at who a person really is and determine if they are decent through actions, words and deeds, but instead on personal prejudices and hatred and ignorance.

I became a teacher because I felt this world was past that on a whole and we could learn from all this. I teach prejudices. We study and read about how things have come to be due to them, and the sufferings people have lived all over the world. I never thought in a million years I, (especially an upper middle-class, white chick who has always been privileged compared to many) would be prejudiced against. We live in a world where ignorance is no longer an excuse and tolerance is preached on every corner. Have people become so blind and deaf to all that has been fought for?

Perhaps the 'dark ages' aren't so far behind. I have never felt so much hatred in my life. And it is backfiring on her and her family. I am not backing down. I am not becoming bitter and hateful. I am kind, considerate and respectful. I have more empathy for those who have dealt with prejudice and racism. And now that I have 'walked that mile' (or rather, a very small percentage of it); I have become even a better teacher.

I win.

www.wordle.com

I love this web site. I still haven't figured out how to copy an image unless I print it and scan it - and even though you can get an html code, it's really small. It's awesome for my job since we deal with language daily, and it's fun to boot.

It's also a great way to blow off steam during the day (if you click on it you can see it in more detail).

So What I've Really Been Doing...

...along with reining in my temper concerning stupid women. By and by, she called me and left a message apologizing. Too bad it sounded more like 'since she'd do anything to keep her family' ('cause I'm keeping them from her), she must apologize so I would please, please let her see them again...oh well. I'm such a bad person I guess. I suppose it's a step in the right direction, although Nate called and told her if she was sincere then many things were going to change - namely that we will be respected in our decisions as a family and if she disagrees then she needs to keep her mouth shut. And childish behavior and verbal abuse will not be tolerated in any way. So....we'll see.

But really - life has been moving on. We're having a VERY, VERY early Homecoming this year due to new school construction and I'm going crazy as usual. We've had all kinds of fundraisers and guess who's in charge. How does that always happen? I'd actually like to do my real job - namely teaching...

And despite my address being the same - I moved into the house Nate and I will be calling home come November. It's a little down the road and there are no crazy neighbors to deal with, however it is a little smaller and right now we're dealing with storage. Storing extras, things we won't need until we have a larger home, animals....The horses have pasture and we need to put up more fence for them. The dogs have a big pen and can run around the yard too. The chickens...well the chickens will be sharing part of their pen with a new addition very soon (it's a surprise) but here's what we all did last weekend:

Holding up the wall (I'll probably be accused of child labor with this pic, but what d o you do when they want to help?)

All the dogs helped out too (see the awesome doghouse in the background that Nate built for them this summer!?)

Unhappy poultry in a horse trailer (too bad I didn't get me trying to move them on video...real fun I tell ya)

Wait until you see the finished product!!!

The Apology???

Sunday Morning-
"I'm sorry. Like Danielle said, I'm a disgrace. Can we have your daughter the rest of the weekend?"

Huh? Disgrace? When did I say that? Oh yeah - in the letter I supposedly sent her telling her that (we think she sent it to herself...and no Andrea, not enough time for yours to get there if you wrote one). Or perhaps there are more people out there who think her behavior is ridiculous. That's me: the Scapegoat. Let's spell that together: S-C-A-P-E-G-O-A-T. Oh lucky me. I MAKE her behave in such a silly manner. For shame.

Anywho - she threw a Labor Day Party. Guess who all wasn't invited? But she's sorry. Really. Really. REALLY.

AND - we have permission from the restaurant my parent's want to extend the reception into the bar area after the place opens to the public for dinner. Yeah.

Now for all the details in planning. It's a bit crazy and it's Homecoming Week here - so I'm crazy. Fun times I tell ya.

And No, Nate's Daughter did not go with her - she stayed with us through the Labor Day weekend. We will not allow anyone to put her in the middle of anything, and that includes childish behavior from adults who will apologize to get their own way. And we had fun!

What the...?

Well, things don't get better I guess. I'm not sure what the problem is, but evidently I'm the devil re-incarnate. Like you all didn't already know that?

I've got some cool venues for the reception - Ford Conference Center, Greenfield Village...but my father and I are bumping heads. Let's just say I want more than two hours to thank everyone and eat. Is that unreasonable?

If I know it wouldn't hurt feelings I'd elope...maybe. I don't really want to though.

Isn't this all supposed to be fun?

I Believe the Bridges Have Been Burned

A taste of the rest of my life (I didn't actually say what I wanted to say - I just shared that here and, believe it or not, stayed calm):

1) All you are looking for is a meal ticket (seriously? Is that why I have a career?).

2) You can't have anything I bought for her. It's mine (good thing I have a career so I can keep cloths on her back then!).

3) You're an 'explicative' (Really? Actually, I think you may take the cake on that one sweetheart).

4) I must have raised him to be stupid (WTF).

5) You're not going to win (Is this a game? However, I think I already have...).

6) If I can't have her whenever I want her, I don't want her at all (so this isn't about her best interests afterall, but your loss of freakish control. Right?).

7) What is wrong with you that you're 31 and haven't been married yet? ( Maybe because I haven't sat around picking my butt and letting a man take care of me for the last 20 years...OR...because I have a life and don't have to live it through my children?).

And my personal favorite (though it was hard to choose between this one and #7:

8) I'd beat you up if I was in a relationship with you...(Huh? Doesn't even warrant a response. However I think I could take her...).

Yup, I'm fine. I'd still like to salvage it as it is family, however I'm not calling the shots concerning this one. My calm, easy going man has been pushed over the edge. I just hope things work out in the long run.

I like to see the humor in it.

A Small Preview of the New Place

This isn't zoomed in...in fact, it's only about 50 feet from the house. The hawks have a nest across the street and are teaching their young to hunt in the fields next to me.

It's Been Crazy Alright...

Sorry it's been awhile, but I've been as nuts as usual. Michigan rocked. We got in Wednesday afternoon, chilled out, tried on dresses, got invitations, met with the church, showed my dad's car in the Dream Cruise, met up with friends, attended a wedding in Chicago and flew out Monday morning.

The rest of last week was spent moving and cleaning house, putting horses in pasture until I have more fence built, getting things together for school, going crazy...

And now I'm back to school getting it all together even more before the kids show up on Monday. Fun.

Also a bit disappointed in my future MIL. She hightailed it out of state with Nate's daughter without discussing the situation with him while were gone. Unfortunately because of it she was unable to meet her teachers, pick up her pony or go to the lake with us on a family weekend we had planned. I'm still hot about it. I totally respect her for all she's done for Nate, but somewhere in there she's forgotten that he is the parent. And it makes me feel like I must not be good enough for her granddaughter either.

So we spent part of the weekend at Lake Navajo boating, wake boarding, water skiing, hanging with friends, bbqing, etc. It was fun and a good break. I finally felt like I was back in my element. I'd almost forgotten how much I miss the water! Supposedly there are pics somewhere so I'll try and get those.

The Dream Cruise was awesome. I'm such a classic car girl. I told Nate this was my wish list.

They just don't make cars this detailed anymore.

Look a little closer at this beauty...

Like the tailpipes?

Check out these beauties. I'd be hard pressed to pick one out for myself, but I think I'd have to go with the '62 Corvette. I'm a 'vette gal through and through...Can you guess which one it is?

And my daddies car. Actually, it's my mommies - but she lets him pretend it's his. It's a '65 Bel Air.

More to come...

As Promised...

I know they've been long awaited...part of the problem is that Nate has a beautiful smile...when he isn't in front of a camera. We decided to have a fantastic photographer (a friend and mother of my students) take some pics of us to try and get him to smile 'nicely'. These are some of the proofs we have that I still need to touch up some, but I thought I'd finally share!!!

I didn't feel right not including Nate's daughter in this so we had some family photos taken also.


It seems we have a budding photographer in the family. Our friend gave Nate's daughter a camera while we were working on smiles and she caught some of my favorite pictures that were taken. Not bad for a Four year old eh?



A girlfriend and former student of mine raises and shows Brebant Belgians; large draft horses for pulling wagons and heavy hauling. She has one she rides all over and we went for a visit and riding lessons. Nate is learning to ride and is quite a natural and enjoys it a lot (which sometimes makes the best rider since there is no 'bad habits' to unlearn), and his daughter is overcoming her fears of riding. I hate to admit this, but I got her bucked off a horse at the beginning of the summer. It was a freak accident on a very well broke horse - and she was fine- and did get back on a horse with me later that day, but we've been working on getting her back on by herself. She has bit by bit, but she was totally comfortable with these huge horses and it provided a breakthrough - enough of one that we decided to purchases a pony for her and she has already been lead around on her and watched me ride her and is very excited to bring her home after Nate and I get back from Michigan. She understands this pony is her responsibility and need to brush her everyday and learn to ride her on her own. This may be my breakthrough with her.

Learning to "drive" (we are working on cowgirl 'gear'. It's a process).

Completely in control! I'm just along for the ride!

See our lead changes at a trot?

Watch me dad and see how it's done -

On my own!

Just so you all have an idea of the size of these horses...the riding pics don't do them justice!

Many of you want to try and meet up Thursday night! I'd love to ! Give a call! I can't wait to see everyone!!! Hope this satisfied the picture cravings!!!

The PLAN...

Okay - here's the run down for our trip to Michigan. We'll arrive Wednesday afternoon. I think my mom and I are going to go look at dresses and I have an appointment on Thursday morning also. Since the folks live about 5 minutes from Downtown B'ham we're going to go check out the cars on display also since it's Dream Cruise weekend. We're meeting with the church Friday morning and showing my dad's Bel Aire Friday evening and then leaving for Chicago Saturday morning for my cousins' wedding. We will be back Sunday afternoon. Then we go home Monday.

So - for getting together - Wednesday night, Thursday afternoon and night, Friday night...As I said, my parents are right in Birmingham so for you car freaks you should meet us! I haven't been to Dream Cruise in years and have always loved just hanging out and looking at the cars. It's also a good family type thing so for those of you with kids I haven't met yet...I'd love to meet them! Just give yourself some extra driving time as traffic gets hairy. If that sounds like fun to anyone give me a call and I'll get you directions to my parent's place.

I'd also love to hit some of the bars in Royal Oak or head out to some yummy dinner one night with you all!

Coming up next: Pictures! I promise! Look for them sometime Tuesday!!!