Installment 1

I will eventually get to what passes as life right now. But first, let me set the stage:

Paris

I'm in Paris! All the girls are certain the men here are MUCH more attractive than the British chaps we saw. I believe it may be a draw...however we've only been here one day, and were in England for 7....soooooo...maybe not!

Hope you're all following the blog. I'll post more of my thoughts on the trip later. All in all it's gone well. Love the French so far. They appreciate luxury; no matter how small the hotel, we have DEEP tubs and FANTASTIC linens and I enjoyed a great soak after a long day tonight with liberal use of some great items I got from LUSH... Let's just say Bath @nd Body Works have NOTHING on this European store.

ciao for now

Comments Here!

I'm in London! Follow the blog and I'll post other stuff here once I get home!!! Leave your comments here as I have comments blocked on the school sites!

I'm in the middle of a crisis. Moving. I'm not in Europe yet...not 'til next week. That's why I'm not around.

We leave the 20th. So follow my blog www.mcleodtrip.blogspot.com between the 20th and the 29th.

I'll explain the rest of what happened later. I just don't have time now. This was as unexpected to me as anything ever could be. It's not boy trouble either. That's a whole different story.

I won't be around for awhile. Hopefully sooner than later, but I don't know. I'm responsible for the trip to London and Paris so I will have to post to that site for my student's parents. Maybe I'll have an explaination about everything else by then.

Somebody please keep their fingers crossed for me.

Your Thoughts On:

Do things really happen for a reason? And I mean a good reason. Really truly really? I'm struggling with this concept right now...I just want to know your stories...

Maverick

Got into the burn barrel:

Before

After

Nice eh? He's all like, "Whaaaaaat? Whaaaaaaat?" As if the soot didn't give him away...

Lack Thereof...

HOT!!! It was -1 this morning, but my frickin' classroom is like a sauna. The heat wave literally hit me as I unlocked my door. And it hasn't turned off. Ah, the wonder's of pre-WWI structures.

It's like Mexico, without the beach and booze. And I'm wearing a wool sweater. Doesn't a Margarita sound good?!

Raising a Bunch of Pussies...

We're behind the rest of the world in mathematics and science. Our college student's cannot string two sentences together. We are dependent on immigrant labor to harvest our crops each year. Etc...etc...etc...

Let me tell you what I see in the schools and you can decide if you don't think this is contributing to America's major problems:

1) A student is asked to complete an assignment. After each and every problem they are asking if it is being done correctly. No patience to wait until the class reviews. They need instant gratification.

2) A class is assigned a project. As the teacher is going through the directions students are asking questions that the teacher has yet to get to.

3) Directions are written on the board and nobody reads them

4) A due date is given and nobody writes it down.

5) A student is failing for turning in nothing - and instead of telling the child to get their act together, they have conferences asking the child what more can the teacher's do to help them.

They want, want, want, now, now now but without having to lift a finger to get what it is they want. Instead of intervening and telling the child they are in dire straights and may not graduate, they pass them onto the next grade without having to make up the failed credit. These kids have been given everything they want, when they want it - and because of it they think they are owed everything...now. Including grades.

I'm worried.

WHAT is going on???

Wish Me Luck

Goodness I hate how dark it is this early! I'll take a dark morning anyday over this! I feel like I should go to bed!

Well, I applied for a raise. In my school they have this jacked up system that doesn't reward you for experience, but the application for the raise. Don't ask. The new administration doesn't like it either so maybe it'll change...one day.

So I've started the process of jumping through the hoops. Namely filling out a bunch of paperwork and having super formal observations. Tomorrow is my pre-ops, Tuesday in the classroom. Yeah. I'm confident about my work though, I'm just overwhelmed with so much more I just don't want to do ONE MORE THING. Wish me luck.

Here's part of the crew trying to help. Yup, that's Kahlua, the black cat I've had since my Sophomore year of college. She's what? 11 now? Which reminds me; total blast from the past.: I got this cat from a litter DJ's cat had. Remember good 'ol DJ? Well, he disappeared on my 24th birthday, never to be heard from again. Strange in and of itself after spending 5 years with someone. Not to say we weren't already starting to go our own ways, but it was a bit surprising to say the least. ANYWAY, someone asked me about him the other day. I mean, it's been 6 years but I was curious and looked him up on MySpace. OUCH! WOW, can people really change that much!? For starters he has never moved from his hometown, never finished college, and, well, I'm not sure how describe it, but he looks like a punk rocker right out of the '80's. Mohawk and everything. Really. He was this total country boy. Not so much anymore. So maybe it's a good thing we didn't keep in touch 'cause it looks like there have been some majorly strange influences at work...which probably started when he left way back when...explains some strange behavior I witnessed at least... one word: Bizarre

HUH?

What is going on with organized religion? OMG I have students who can't carve pumpkins this year because their church said it was witchcraft. WTF? But they can dress up and go trick-or-treating. WTF? I wish they would just let these kids be kids and have fun while they're still young.

Also - since when did Halloween give a license for these girls to look like hookers? I think they did their shopping out of Freddie's.

Being a kid seems to be getting harder and harder to do...

OMG one of my students just told me they no longer hate Shakespeare! Yeah! I have done something right! My year is made....

October Interview

Q. What have you days been consisting of?
School has been busy. There is a new administration in and I feel we've all been jumping through some major hoops for them. We are considered one of the best school's in the area and rank high within the State as well. We don't need to be reformed, however everyone does agree there is always room for improvement. I just feel that every time I turn around I have one more problem to deal with and honestly? I'm feeling overwhelmed. When teacher's who have been here 20+ years are telling me they feel they same way I don't feel so bad, but really, it's playing on my self-esteem, like if I feel behind, I must be. The good news is I really am keeping on top of everything, just feel like I must be superwoman to do so and it's very tiring.

Other than that the weather, despite being cold at night, has been decent during the day so I've been trying to enjoy the nice weather before it turns to winter.

Q. What major problems have you been faced with?
I'd say the school issue I already mentioned is right up there, but things are rough on the homefront. I can't speculate. I'm not sure where I stand with anything, even myself right now.

Q. If you could change anything right now, what would it be?
My proximity to friends and family. I can't move back to MI. It is not something I can even consider financially. I cannot own my own home, I cannot get the mortgage for it. I love it here, it's just lonely. I just things would be easier for me if I had a little support. I go to work, I go home, I talk to nobody except my students and a few colleagues all day. Nobody knows me here. Really know who I am. Sometimes I don't think anyone does.

Q. If you had one wish what would it be?
That I was married and had a family started. It's not something that I think should be rushed into, hence why I didn't 'jump' with some past relationships...that would have been disastrous. But I'm not avoiding it. Sometimes I just don't think I'm lovable. Everyone's best friend, but not marriageable material.

Q. What do you think the next 5 years will bring you?
I don't even know anymore. I feel like I'm standing still with everything but work. I know what I want, but when I want it doesn't work. So I just go with the flow and do the best I can. Isn't that all we can do in life? I guess somethings come easier to others. I'm not saying I'm not proactive with making things happen; I do the best I can. It's not like I'm just sitting here some bump on the log or anything.

Q. Looking forward to anything?
Of course. This isn't a pity party, poor me, look at how lonely I am... I'm not buried under the blankets day after day; I'm incredibly active - it just isn't bringing anything new or any change into my life. I'm putting the final touches on our trip to London and Paris in 3 weeks. It's a great group and my buddy Kelly is planning on meeting me in Paris on Thanksgiving until we leave. Also my Vegas trip is two weeks after that and I'm super excited.

There are great things in my life. I just am not so sure about a lot of things anymore. That and I feel like I'm living that same as I did 10 years ago. I haven't moved forward and it hasn't been for lack of trying. Those of you who really know - there have been major steps forward in my life, like having a home and family, but unforeseen circumstances have pulled me back more than once. I just wonder how many times I have to repeat this cycle. It's not an easy thing to live through once, much less multiple times. I guess I just ask 'why?' a lot, and I can't find an answer.

I'm sorry I can't just straight up say exactly what has been happening, and only express how I feel about things, but I don't know how to explain things. I also just don't want to drag people involved into it over the internet.

Paulding Light

So with Halloween coming up all the haunted, unexplained stories come out of the woodworks, but this was the first time I've seen the Paulding Light on anything. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, the Paulding Light is in Paulding, MI - heading out of the UP into Wisconsin. I had the chance to see this once while coming back from a Wolf Study in Ely, Minn. with some classmates. We decided to stop and see it. The story goes that a railroad man was killed along the tracks and he haunts the old line with a lanturn and that's what the light is.

Having seen it, at first I thought it looked like far away headlights and taillights, except no road is running along the old rail-road grade, just a sevice line for the electric company. Not too mention it's blocked off by the Forest Service to Public Access. The television series, Unsolved Mysteries, took a look at it back in the 90's but couldn't get it figured out either. The scientific belief is that there is a natural phenomenon causing headlights and taillights to be seen from a strange angle - a reflection, curvature of the earth, optical illusion, etc...but they couldn't get it figured out either how it was happening, plus they couldn't get a timing on vehicles on any of the roads around there to correspond to the light sightings.

So while I was there, being adventurous with my friends (and no, it may have been college, but we were not indulging in anything), we decided to hang out and see this thing. I swear to God it light everything up, enough I could see the features of the person next to me in the pitch black and cast shadows on the trees. Still not being convinced, we decided to walk towards it. We hiked a good ways in the dark along the service road and got up on a high spot. And never saw it out there...but when we got back to other people who had come out to witness the phenomenon, they said it had never let up. It was very strange, and it definitely made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Anyway - check out the uTube video:



It's not creepy, just strange. But if you want creepy look up stuff on the SkinWalker Ranch in Utah. That is creepy and totally freaks me out. I won't even post info about it - it bothers me that much.

Online Shopaholic

I think etsy is dangerous. Anyone else feel the same way? I could easily spend an entire paycheck on there in a very short period of time. On the other hand, it is a great place to do some holiday shopping since I am craft starved in this valley. If only I didn't find so many things I wanted as well...

Who Cares?

Ok- Halloween is coming. I don't live where kids can come to the door, I have no friends to party with, I don't live in Michigan so I can go to my brother's kick-ass annual party, but I still love Halloween and I can't wait until maybe one day I can celebrate it as it was meant to be celebrated. So in anticipation please bear with my ghosts and bats. They are keeping me company...

Really Lonely

Guys - I'm really lonely out here. I was real close to getting on plane today and leaving it all behind. I know I've got it alright and a job and MI doesn't exactly have the best economy right now, but I think I could walk away from it all 'cause anything would be better than not having anyone to talk to. Yes, I know I can always pick up the phone, but it's the creature comforts I'm lacking enough in to believe it's making me crazy. I think I'm becoming an introvert for fear of getting too close to anyone. My dogs and horses are the most contact I have with anything alive.

Yes, I stay fairly busy and am involved, but I haven't met real great people out here to be friends with. It seems there are a lot of backstabbers and cheats, and well, let's just say that even though Shane's around daily...I'm not sure I've ever truly had his attention or ever will. It's been sort of a self-esteem destructor; I believe is the best way to describe it all...I'll be fair though and say that my attitude probably hadn't helped things very much in the past.

I can't walk away from my responsibilities though, but the next 7 months may see me planning on how to out from many of them, as heartbreaking as it may all end up being for me. I guess I just ask a lot of 'why's' lately. Like how I never pictured myself still single and alone, and why I've had the hardships I've had in the past that have lead me here, and why can't I get ahead with certain things in life, and why, why, why....I know that the things I've gone through have shaped who I am, but enough already because what I'm becoming is bitter. And quite honestly, I have a really hard time believing anything anyone says to me anymore or trusting anyone. I'm not confident like I used to be and I question a lot of what I do on the basis of what if it's me causing things to be the way they are? I don't feel like me anymore...

What I've Been Up To...

October is always a crazy month. 1st Quarter in school ends, Parent/Teacher conferences, grade books have to be up to date for report cards....ALL the cattle are coming down from the mountains and I start getting my winter jobs.

Other than school I've been spending a lot of time on the weekends moving cattle and riding horses. Yesterday I got a job 'legging-up' a race horse for the winter season. I'm very excited about this even though I'm going to have to put in some long hours after work each day. Legging-up is a term we use to build up the muscles in a horses legs, and overall tone and condition the horse. Because this area has a LOT of sand I ride the horses through our empty canals when the water has emptied out. Remember how tiring walking through sand can be?

This weekend we brought in cattle in Pagosa Spring. This has to be one of the most beautiful areas in the state.Where we brought cattle in...yes, it has snowed already!

Behind the ranch house in the valley

Our Neighbors

Wrigley is growing! He's best friend with Al, Izzy's one surviving kitten from her c-section this spring. He's a spoiled brat and get's away with everything and goes everywhere with me!

Wrigley's Famous!

Well not so much, but I did send in a picture of him pretending to look happy in his new carrier for a contest!

He's just so darn cute!

If anybody is looking for a carrier like this for a smallish dog...I somehow ended up with two of them and the pet store I purchased it from is SWEARING they did not ship me two. I have been on the phone with them multiple times. I refused to pay shipping costs back, so now I have two. I'm selling one on eBay for A LOT LESS than what it costs from the original company ($115) and A LOT LESS than what I purchased my original for through a pet store:

Pet Fly's Lucky Horseshoe Airline Approved Carrier

They only come in three sizes: tiny, small and super. Mine's a small. I'll relist it if it doesn't sell the first time. What am I going to do with two of them? NO! I'm not getting another dog.

This Week's Addition of Why I Love Living in the San Luis Valley

Sheepherders

Once the grains have been harvested and the fields have been baled and plowed, the sheepherders bring their flocks down from the mountains to graze. The sheep both clean up a lot of the grasses that have grown back up from fallen grains and fertilize the ground. They spend a few weeks here moving from farm to farm until it's time to bring them back in for fattening and shearing. Sometimes I think I would love to do this one summer and fall. It seems to be so peaceful spending the day with the horses and dogs...

Driving into work each morning I see the herders with their horses and dogs watching the flocks and keeping them from moving into the roads.

Idle Afternoons

I wouldn't say I'm COMPLETELY idle today. I cleaned house and sat down to eat something with the computer on. This is what happens when my girly side kicks in and I'm on eBay:

Kathy Van Zeeland's Montana Scoop Shopper

Yes, I have impulse buys I shouldn't...occasionally. Oh well...but isn't it cute?!!

Vegas Baby!

Ok - I really am going. I feel guilty, but I think maybe that's because it been a REALLY LONG time since I've done something for myself. Even my trip to Europe is with 18 students and scheduled around educational experiences. Cool? Yes! Stressful? Most-Likely!

This trip is for pure fun and excitement!

Plans so far: Arriving in Vegas on Thursday, Dec 11th at 8am. Since I live fairly close to Vegas I'll probably be the first one in town since it only takes about 45 minutes for me to fly there.

The Hotel: Mandalay Bay

The Venue: The Thomas and Mack Center - There are still plenty of seats left. Not sure which night/s we will be attending, but sure to be a great time!

I feel like I've gone out a limb here. I'm such a planner and whereas I do enjoy spur of the moment things, it's usually like a short road trip or something where I don't get too far from home. This is like HUGE for me. I'm sort of nervous!

That's IT! I'm CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY!!! With or Without you!

Lousy B-day's all in a row...and what am I going to do about it? Celebrate! Finally!

LAS VEGAS: I've never been and am going to attempt to go in December to the National Finals Rodeo for the last weekend (Dec. 11 - 14th). A good guy friend of mine is going and I would love to see any (OR ALL) of you! The NFR isn't a must for anybody. I just want to go see it and there's plenty more to do other than that I'm sure!

Ladies - my friend is single and you would like...really...

Like I said, it's still tentative. But I need some fun and this sounds like fun!

If you're in, let me know and let's make this a 'for sure thang'!!!



Andrea - I think you need to get a babysitter and bring Mr. Cowboy!

Yikes!

So I was feeding the dogs and sat down to keep the peace when...yup...I looked up and there was a spider in the window above the washing machine. A big black one...which turned out to be a Black Widow. I wasn't sure at first since there was a red stripe down her back, but there was definitely an hourglass on her belly. I looked it up. A juvenile often has coloring on the back until it molts. Thank God it's probably not old enough to have laid eggs anywhere!

I totally have the creeps now. This is coming after killing a small scorpion in the house last week. Those at least are not poisonous...but still!

Now I'm going to have the creepy-crawlies and not be able to sleep tonight. I'd rather a snake slithered through the crack under the door. That I can handle.

My Day...

Need I say more?

Wrigley's High Flyin' Fashion Statement

I plan on taking Wrigley with me when I travel within the US. So I had to make sure he'd be stylin'. This is what he's recieved as 'puppy luggage':

Boycott FedEx

Why? Because they suck. I may live in the boondocks, but it's very easy to find addresses due to the fact EVERY street runs either N and S or E and W and is labeled with Numbers N and S or E and W. It's also easy to tell which direction you are headed due to the fact it is WIDE open and there are major landmarks you can see from 40 miles away...called mountains.

To start, Fedex will not deliver in my town. They drop everything off a the post office and expect them to tell the people who are expecting things to pick it up. Why? Because they are to lazy to drive down the street, can't count, etc...whatever.

So my newest adventure? I ordered my phone a week ago. It was supposed to be delivered Wednesday. I decided to have it delivered to the school due to the problems we have in town with Fedex. By Friday I still hadn't recieved it so I called. They said the address didn't exist and I need to come to the facility to pick it up. I told them that wasn't possible as it was 3 hours away and the package was supposed to be here 2 days ago. They were going to deliver it. We confirmed the address...they said it would be on the way. 2 hours later I get a phone call from them saying I need to call them because there is a problem with address. I call them back and ask if they knew I had just gotten off the phone with them 2 hours ago. No response. I ask if they log their customer coorespondance and complaints. She has no record. I let her know the situation, she says I should contact verizon. I call Verizon. They are all over it and tell me they have fixed the problem after a considerable hold and, I'll have my phone first thing Monday morning. I call Fedex this morning. There is no phone. It has not shipped. Guess what? My address doesn't exist. I get mad, ask why their driver can't notice a GIGANTIC SCHOOL BUILDING IN THE MIDDLE OF A BUNCH OF HAY FIELDS THAT THEY REGULARLY DELIVER TOO! They are quiet. I am put on hold. I am told I never said it was a school. WHAT THE $$#%@^*%??? I tell her we've already gone through this and I am cut off. I call back. I give them my number to call when the driver next gets lost. I hang up and call Verizon. Verizon is sorry. They put me on hold. They tell me I will have it by tomorrow afternoon.

When it doesn't show tomorrow I call Verizon and tell them they are losing me as a customer if they can't get their delivery service together. I know that technically it isn't their fault, but they did choose Fedex as their delivery service. I just want my phone.

Living in the SLV

There's a lot I like about living in the San Luis Valley, and a lot I don't like, namely how lonely it is, but I'm a busy girl and enjoy the things I do like teaching (most of the time!), working cattle, baling hay and straw, and training horses...and the little things too like collecting my eggs and being able to sell them to people for "egg money" (i.e. vacation savings), walking my dogs, seeing beautiful sunrises and sunsets, and the most recent, watching the crop dusters!

I don't know what it is about crop dusters, but I love to watch them 'dust' the fields...especially in such a beautiful setting surrounded by the mountains. As I was driving into school this morning they were dusting one of the fields I drive by so I pulled over to take a pic!

Also, some people have been asking...the ticker on top for London and Paris? I'm taking about 18 students to London and Paris over Thanksgiving. If you'd like to see details about it (or any of the other classes I teach or sponsor) just click on the link to the right under "More Than I Can Chew?"

What Gives?

Alright...random rant that's been a long time coming...

I have a career, am a hardworker, am interesting, honest, and sincere. I am not a bum, or lazy...can cook, clean and take responsibility for myself (and occasionally my 80 or so students on any given day). I'm old enough to be stable and know what I want and I also am cultured. Oh yeah - I don't think I look half bad either on a good day.

According to the world I must be the worst candidate for a wife and mother there possibly is.

Why? Every lazy, ambitionless, good-for-nothing drug user I know has children. Every jobless, welfare bum driving a brand new vehicle in their mortgage free house I know is married. Every skanky little mini-skirt I know is taken in to be "taken care" of by some well-off business man who feels bad for her (was Pretty Woman THAT much of an influence on this generation?!).

HELLO!?

I need to take up my hems, buy some stilettos, lose my job and spend a few hundred bucks on cheap makeup I guess. Maybe fighting over a corner would work also...

Casio Boulder

It's official. Today was the day and I just went for it. It's the Boulder. I just couldn't justify the others knowing I'll probably kill it within weeks and be looking for a replacement. I'll just play it safe for now!