Terms That Evade Me

Anyone who knows me or has followed my blog knows how I keep myself busy...and also how when events occur in my life they tend to take on the resemblance of a whirlwind. Take my wedding as an example, or even my pregnancy. Despite the fact we were engaged at the beginning of July and married at the end of November many people thought we should have given more time. I'm glad we didn't because there was enough drama built up over such a short time in planning, but I'm still getting used to the married life. Now compound that with being pregnant and having the busiest and most stressful spring work-wise ever.

Husband

Wife

Step-mother

Mother

Pregnancy

Birth (ahhhhhhhh!)

Baby

In-laws (boo, hiss, boooooooooooo)

Anyway - those a a few of the terms that just don't quite roll off this independent gals tongue quite so easily yet. It really hasn't helped that I haven't had much time to actually sit down and contemplate life in a long, long time either.

I don't see this as irresponsible as I still make sure I'm as responsible as ever concerning anything that has come into my life, but I find myself sitting on the couch some evenings after a long day waking from what I can only describe as 'automatic mode', and looking around myself like I'm only just realizing this is all real.

It's a strange and unsettling feeling. I hate going through the motions of certain tasks feeling completely removed from them - such as being instant mom. Nate's daughter and I haven't had the easiest few months this spring as she continue to defy myself and her teachers now after visits with grandma. We tried everything from short visits to overnighters, asked grandma to be on the same page as us concerning behavior, following lines of questioning that doesn't involved how much she misses her and how she should visit more and more along the lines of what she does and school and home - but to no avail. Visits result in swearing, tattling, falsely accusing other children, pushing and acting violent towards other children. After a week of no visits these seem to dissipate - so guess what? No more visits. It also puts a horrid stress on the marriage and things are much calmer in the house when there is no acting up. I've put my foot down with behavior - either everyone behaves like adults or leave until you can. I can't handle the stress. It's working just fine so far.

Wouldn't it be nice to have a family member to trust to watch the kids? I'm afraid that's not written in the stars for this marriage. We're on our own. That combined with her increasing criticism of everything involving me (basically the fact Nate is still married to me - seriously - what a horrible concept eh?), the MIL is pretty much cut out of our lives. And my mother hasn't said a peep to me about my pregnancy all surrounding the facts we had a house before the wedding and I was upset for 30 seconds after getting left with the salon bill the morning of the wedding. I guess when you get married in my family you are supposed to walk away from the family you grew up with. Whatever.

I'm not really in a bad mood or anything, it's just that as things have slowed down I'm finally starting to look at the issues that have been going on that I've been maybe complaining about, but avoiding due to time constraints. Overall the situation concerning parent's is quite bleak - and bothersome. And quite honestly I'm at a point in my pregnancy that I'm not dealing with everyone else anymore. For almost 6 months it's been about trying to make things right whenever there is a spare second, addressing household issues, conferencing with pre-school teachers and psychologists, dealing with school budget woes and the classroom. It think time has come for me.

When I sat down the other night all I could think was, "Oh my GOD I'm PREGNANT!". I believe that was a bit more than a 'little' delay in my thinking.

23 weeks today. Leave the girls out of it. They make everything seem 3 times larger than normal. If they don't get under control later the word 'reduction' will become an intimate part of their vocabulary. Here that gals? After nursing you are going back to normal. This is your one and only warning. I can't afford the size you are. It's too weird and nobody carries it. Are you readers ready for the size? Scroll down....

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34F with no end in site (I'm normally a 32D)....right now I'm squeezing into a 36 D which is the best I could do in the valley. I'm heading to Pueblo this weekend to attempt to remedy the situation. I need support!!! I don't like porn star girls.

Titanicized!

Kudos to Bolte for first guessing the theme. The days leading up to Prom were interesting, meaning I'm using the most polite term I can use. The Juniors decided to charge $5 a head to get in (yes, yes I know - we all paid LOTS way back when, but for some reason, despite spending thousands there isn't usually a cover charge). This caused all sorts of controversy, including some serious verbal abuse sent my way by some parent's. All we could explain was this was a Junior class vote and they were the ones who needed to take responsibility. I know, I know - all over $5. I can't explain it either.

However, once the day of Prom arrived I didn't much care. This is what I woke up to the day before, so there was some worry about weather since we'd turned all the heaters off to keep the 'ceiling' from blowing all over. But it ended up being just fine as Saturday dawned sunny and cool instead of blowing and snowy!

I managed to get some pictures of everything the evening before since we'd be psycho busy the day of - and sure enough we were. These pretty much represent what there was even though all the tables and chairs weren't set up yet.

This is our ice float where the live four piece orchestra played. Just like in the movie "Titanic"!

And the centerpieces I put together! They were a big hit!

What's Prom without a few pics? I had serious debates over what to wear as the dress I bought looked like a tent on me. I just couldn't do it so I rifled through the closet and found this drapy bodysuit I bought a few years back, wore once and forgot about. It was perfect and comfortable. I hate how much weight I've put on through my face more than anything else. I can't wait to be able to P-90X again. Nate takes horrible pictures (it's a standing joke with everyone who's ever taken our pictures) but I thought you might like to see the belly at 22 weeks.

Rude

That's what my girls are. Rude. They don't want to fit into anything, don't look the best for my small frame, aren't cooperating at all, don't want to go anywhere and certainly don't want to dress up. All they do it get in the way also. I swear I heard one of them tell the other to, "watch this..." the other night when I rolled over. How inconsiderate.

My husband has named my belly 'Hank'. Why? I'm not sure. But if you remember we used to have a Turkey he named Hank. I think it's a name he uses for anything he has found an affinity for. However Hank the turkey turned into 'Hank the Sunday dinner' after he flogged the crap out of Nate one day. I'm not sure I like the belly called after Sunday dinner. If Hank Williams Jr. was his Muse on this one I'd be totally cool with that, but personally, I think the belly thinks it's a bit rude.

Speaking of the belly...it's getting a little inconsiderate of the space it has been allotted so far. I feel like a science experiment and I strongly recommend never watching the movie "Aliens" if you plan on being pregnant and have yet to see it. The movement I can feel and now see just reminds me a little bit too much of that. I expect something to pop out singing, "hello my baby, hello my darling..." from the "Aliens" spoof. It's creepy and, well, rude....

I did receive the dress I ordered. However my body isn't cooperating and it is a little large. Can't pregnancy clothes be made to 'grow with' the pregnancy so I don't have issues with all the in between crap? I think I can make due with it, but a size medium, a size 32 with the growing girls aren't matching up well. Find a bra in that size and pregnancy clothes made to fit. All straps fall off my shoulders, the belly is too small for most clothing, yet the front completely fills out. How can that be with straps falling off? Can't pregnancy clothes be made for smaller frames that have large girls to begin with? Ones that grow with the belly too? I don't think much thought is put into that... I'm just worried the since my girls are rude they aren't going to cooperate the night of Prom.


Prom is still killing me. I'm a 'jump in and do' person, especially when I see things that need to be done and there are people standing around not doing it. It makes me crazy so I go do it - then I get yelled at for being around paint fumes, getting up on ladders or carrying heavy objects. Don't yell if you aren't willing to do it!!! Seriously!!!

The canned response of, "too much homework" is used by all students who have not been applying wise time management or are otherwise pissed off at a teacher. If I have given a student a week on an assignment and they wait until the last minute it honestly isn't my fault. I don't understand why they complain to parent's or administrators about teachers who are more than fair concerning this issue because they are crabby. It's rude and doesn't speak well of personal integrity.

Consumed

This Prom thing is totally consuming all my time. Not like there was a lot extra to begin with, but when I'm not getting home until 8pm or later it does get a little trying. ONE MORE WEEK! What does suck is the dress I ordered still has not arrived and the chick DID NOT track it because it was to my PO box. Hate to tell her you can track to a PO so that isn't an excuse and if I don't get it soon I want my money back. Leaves me up a creek though as I'm not sure I have anything I fit in anymore appropriate for a formal event.

So let's see if you all can get this figured out! I'm not saying what's been guessed now as I don't want to give anything away! I know it doesn't look like much - but when the lights are out (as they should be - lighting is from our own effects) it looks awesome! And yes, that is my husband in the second picture. I made him bring the tools we so desperately needed.

I've noticed it's really hard to get clear pictures under fluorescent lighting (such as in the gym). Any ideas how to fix this when taking pictures? I've messed with all kinds of settings with almost always the same results.

Any more of you hazard to take a guess on the theme? I think it's getting more and more obvious!!!

Mooooooo!

For reals. I feel like a cow. I can't wait for my front to shrink back to normal. And yes I know it only gets worse from here and I have awhile to go. I also keep forgetting things. Last week I left my keys at the post office and couldn't pick them up until this morning because I didn't even realize until Saturday afternoon. I also am suddenly really sick again. I'd rather it be due to pregnancy than what I think it is...the stomach flu. But yet here I am stoic at school making everyone else sick I'm sure. Not the smartest thing, but until I get more sick days for maternity leave I can't afford to miss any more school. I am going to try and get out of prom decorating tonight however. In the meantime, here I am at 20 weeks. Nice flattering pic huh? Yes I'm talking on the cell in my classroom.

This is the dress I ordered for Prom. I really didn't want to get a dress but I figured I could use it again in the future anyway so why not. Obviously it's used. I love ebay. The only thing I'm worried about it that it will be too big. I have two other dresses that are still huge on me. I know I feel huge, but right now I can't imagine how much bigger I'm obviously going to be. I usually wear a Small or Medium so I've ordered everything in Mediums, and they pretty much fall off me. I've been getting by with bella bands and my normal pants and regular tops. There are a few maternity pants with the low bands that work, but all the shirts are huge.

Here's the progression of Prom. We keep getting setbacks. It's lovely. Nobody has guessed the theme yet!

And for those of you who have been wondering what ever happened to the pups we adopted; I found a home for one, and the other has stayed with us. I think I'd like to find her a home to though. Four dogs is a bit much for me and Nate doesn't do anything with them even though he wanted these dogs (why am I not surprised?). This is the runt, Brees. She's very well behaved but a complete puss. She cries if Dixie looks sideways at here and don't be around if she gets pinned down - you'd think someone was killing her it's that bad. When I have her on her own she's great. I had her at decorating all day last week and she just hung out - never a peep. She needs a good home. Any takers?

It's.....

... a baby....

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.... a child.....

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....a lifeform weighing me down.....

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....in my belly.....

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....making me gain strange weight (10lbs since my last visit when I'm averaging only 2 or 3/month? I think something's off)......

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....causing strange things to happen to me.......

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.....making me cranky occasionally......

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...making my teeth hurt....bad....and I've never had a cavity before...but I think I do now....

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....making me tired a lot.....

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....oh yeah......

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A BOY!!!

When Time Doesn't Belong to Me Anymore...

Which is a typical problem when you become a teacher, unfortunately.

Easter rocked! Sorry I don't have any pictures, but I kept leaving my camera in places - the truck, Nate's truck, my friends table, etc... I decided that holidays are supposed to be stress-free. If family causes stress then they don't need to celebrate holidays with us. Christmas was horrid. I was basically 'kicked out' of the festivities in my own home when it was invaded by family. I declared 'stress free' holidays only after that.

We went to mass, a Mexican buffet and then a friends house for both children's and adult egg hunts and more food. We were home at a decent time, relaxed, played video games, and just hung out. It was the best family holiday yet!

Which was a good thing - because until April 24th - this is what I'm doing every night and most weekends. Remember when I said Prom has about a $9000 budget? This is why:

Let's see if you can't figure out the theme as it comes together over the next few weeks!

Maybe I'll hold a contest!

A Boy? The Myths I Experience

I don't find out officially until the 8th, but here's why everyone thinks so:

I could only eat carbs (fresh breads, bagels, some pasta) with cheese, cottage cheese and fruit during my first trimester.

No serious morning sickness, just constant nausea.

Higher fetal heart beat for the first and second trimester so far- I average between 150 and 160 bpm

I'm carrying to the front (like I have a melon under my shirt). And I'm high already.

The Chinese Conception Chart says since I'm 31 and conceived in December it's a boy.

I know there really is no accuracy to any of this, but here's to wishful thinking....have I mentioned I would prefer a boy over a girl? Call it selfish, and a girl would be just as loved, but right now I've about had it with having a girl in the household and I can't quite imagine another one right now (guess what? She's in trouble again...through the MIL influence no less). Give me a little boy who gets into everything, doesn't mind getting dirty and loves his momma.

Anyone ever staple their finger? I just did. I'm not multitasking quite so well being pregnant. Ouch.

Have I also mentioned I'm a co-sponsor of Prom? It's on the 24th. We have a $9000 budget. Can I say how crazy and BIG this thing is...oh yeah, and that I now live at the school.

Thought I'd explain the high heart beat for a boy - that's for early on in the pregnancy. Girls typically have higher heart beats in the late 3rd trimester, boys are lower. The tale refers to the higher heart beat early on. I actually asked my doctor about this and he said sometimes this happens, but that both sexes pretty much fall between 140 and 160bpm before the last few weeks and that the consistant higher heart beat translating into being a boy is an 'old wives tale'.

What Manner of Beast Is This?

Peeking out of my Trailer Windows (I still need to fix) with glowing eyes?

Oh it's just Ned! Wondering when he gets to join his lady an their baby.Check out my bearskin rug! It's so luxurious!

Oh Wait! That's just Skipper's Smokin Chex AKA Smack! He has the longest hair of any yearling I have ever seen. You can see how tall he's getting and how his legs have almost completely straightened out after all the problems I had with him as a baby (due to 'cooking' a little too long in mom!).

And then here's Rebel who is turning into quite the looker. He's almost 3 now and was saved from having his nuts cut off last Friday due to a freak snowstorm. We have to reschedule...how lucky did he get? I'd love to keep him at stud as he has fantastic conformation and breeding with a disposition to match, but I don't really need an uncut horse on the property right now (even though he is penned right next to Rumba, my broodmare who is in perpetual heat, and doesn't ever try to get at her).

I think he has a great head (even in a bad photo)!

And then there's this thing at almost 18 weeks...that keeps growing and growing...

and growing...I'm actually wearing maternity pants here, but I'm still actually in a few of my regular baggy cargo pants that I can still button and almost all my jeans with the help of a Bella Band (LOVE those things!). What's really making me crazy is 'the gals' keep growing too, and they were big enough to begin with so it's not very comfortable. I'm hoping to hit a plateau soon or I'm going to have to do some serious bra shopping.

No Internet!

Sorry I've been missing! We had Spring Break and our internet hub is screwed and we need a new one! I'll update this week!

We were supposed to be in Costa Rica on our honeymoon. We're having a baby instead. Nice huh? I really would like to get away with my hubby though. We don't get to be alone...EVER. We have a 5 year old. And family we can't trust with her...or she comes back a warped little _____ (fill in the blank). Our marriage really needs a honeymoon. Really.

I'll try and get a belly picture up this week also.

Top 5 Pregnancy Shirts

There's a billion things out there to spend money on while pregnant or for the baby. Personally we're broke, and I'm not a big fan of having a ton of stuff that only gets worn or used for a few months - but it's fun to look! Of the baby t-shirts I think these sum up how I've been feeling lately:

Shirt #1 - because right now I just look like I've been overeating...a LOT! I can't wait to actually look pregnant instead of just 'heavy'.

Shirt #2 - because people are actually starting to reach out and touch it. It's MINE!

Shirt #3 - because I'm a hockey fan, and this just sums it all up...
Shirt #4 - because I crave them more than ANYTHING! Mmmmmm...salty potatoes...

Shirt #5 - because it would piss off my in-laws. And I miss it .



Styles were found on www.CafePress.com and www.zazzle.com !

Meet Gigit

This was in the goat pen when I got home from school Monday:Ned and the goose were both acting like proud papa's. Unfortunately (for them) they both have been banished from the goat pen for awhile. She came a little earlier than planned, but it seems momma took care of everything without any help from us! To get an idea of her size, here she is near the cats (but not too near because Shirley is a very protective mother!) - about the size of a smallish cat (the gray cat, Luna is the next soon-to-be momma):

When she nurses she wags her tail (excuse my baby talk - but she's just so darn cute!):

See Gigit jump and play! She's quite active and likes to climb up in my lap and nibble my clothes:

But Wait, There's More...

The body doesn't have to be embalmed afterall. Only the correct forms need to be filled out.

So picture this: Corpse. Not embalmed. No Coffin. Body Bag. Mini-van.

And can I mention that 'body fluids' were commented on to my husband? We are both completely creeped out.

Question of the Day

I guess in Colorado, once a body has been embalmed, it can be transported by anyone who signs the right forms. I have a few thoughts about transporting a corpse, but I'm curious to know what you all think...

If you had a close family member die a few hours away from where they are to buried, and the hospital is willing to let you sign the papers for transportation once you have the body embalmed; would you chose to transport the body, or let the hospital deliver to it to the funeral home for you? To add to this, you don't have to have a coffin.

Weekend at Bernie's anyone?

I'd like to note that this does confirm a few more things in my mind about some people in my life.

What I Covet.

Clothes. Seriously. There are no maternity clothes within 120 miles of where I live. I'm not kidding. There are size L and XL I could purchase, but I'm sorry, it then looks like I'm wearing a tent (or something). I ordered Bella Bands that should be arriving VERY soon to help me out, but I need to get into the city. I like some stuff I've seen online, but I'm so hesitant to order anything until I have idea of what things should fit like. So far I'm liking Maternity.com and Old Navy.

And in actuality, there aren't that many things that seem to be out there for pregnant women. Everything is geared towards the baby. That's all good and whatnot, but this little bugger isn't going to be around for many months yet, and in the meantime I want things for me (what a selfish pain I am eh?)

I've been researching. I'm in love with a few choice items that are either 1) geared towards my complete comfort or 2) my stylish self (and occasionally 3) both).

Item #1 - The Leachco Snoogle Loop Pillow

I love pillows and already sleep cuddled up with a billion of them...but Nate fights me for them and I want my own. I also am a tummy sleeper, and this is getting more and more uncomfortable all the time. I'm finding putting a pillow between my legs at night is way comfortable amd I can still lay in a position that is almost on my tummy, but not quite. What else I love about this pillow is it can be folded in half and used to lean up against with arm rest.

Item #2 (and #3) - Kimono Style Robe. Knee Length with Matching Lounge Pants. Sold at plumprettysugar's shop on etsy.com

Not only do these look soooooo comfortable, but also look like something I would love to bring with me to use as a receiving gown in the hospital....and lounge around in after the baby is born at home....and lounge around in before the baby is born at home...the list goes on. I also really like the materials this woman uses to make her clothes. They are so light and airy, and the patterns are really beautiful.

Item #4 - Vera Bradley Baby Bag

I love Vera Bradley. The new baby bag rocks. They have a ton of pockets, is lined for easy cleaning, has clips for pacifiers, keys, etc and also include a terry cloth changing pad. I'm a huge fan of all the different patterns and colors used, and once the season changes and new patterns are introduced; sale items ensue!

Crazy Gene

I think a crazy gene runs in my husband's family. Really, really, for reals... Let's look at the stats before we got 'hitched': I'm 31, never been married, have no children and have a career. That was a problem for my MIL. I obviously was praying on her poor son. Let me clarify: He never knew what hit 'em!

Now his family (many of whom go to the school I teach at) is spreading the rumor the only reason he married me was because he, "knocked me up." Hmmmmm....interesting. I have three responses to that...but I'm going to give edited, realistic responses instead (there also are three):

1) My custom wedding dress was bought over the summer. If it had been a tighter fit; somebody would have had to sewn me into it. I tried it on in the summer and never put it on again until the day of the wedding.

2) I drank the night before the wedding, before the wedding, after the wedding, at the reception, and after the reception. Wouldn't do that to my baby. I also drank at my reception here in in Colorado. I had conceived by then (a day?) but was completely unaware.

3) I waited 31 years to test my fertility. I, of course, had natural concerns about it seeing as that my mother had trouble conceiving. I wasn't about to test it before the wedding in case there was heartache ensuing, and also...see #1. Duh.

Obviously #3 wasn't an issue as getting pregnant took no effort what so ever. I think Nate looked at me sideways or something.

But seriously? What is their problem? At times it makes me feel ashamed I'm pregnant. What!? Are we in High School still. Oh wait - yes we are. That's what happens when you have no life and married right out of school.

You're brain occasionally gets stuck there. Permanently.

Thanks to all the great ideas last week. Some of those things I'm doing, some I'm planning on, and the rest I'm seriously considering. Erika - I DO need a therapist. Someone needs to take me out of the twilight zone...

I am still wearing my 'normal' cloths, but many with the buttons rubberbanded together. Bella Bands were ordered this morning - along with preggers pops....the nausea is still killing me. Before I go order online, I'm attempting to talk my husband into a trip into Pueblo to at least see, in person, some maternity cloths. I hate sending back online orders.

I'm making list of what I want to get myself in the next 6 months or so. I'm going to be selfish and needy since I don't expect anyone will be throwing a baby shower for me. Afterall, I stole my husband from his mother and entrapped him into marrying me. Shame on me.

I'm Allowed....

...to rant a little like I did last week. I feel like I've been put into the washer on the high spin cycle. Not only do we have little 'peepers' running all over right now:

But this little chica also has a fat preggers belly :

And this guy has two girlfriends expecting:

But wait...that's not all that has me in a tizzy. This gal also is starting to bust out of her cloths...oh wait, that's me starting to look like a milk cow (with short hair because I cut it all off - but ignore that. It IS growing back):Lots and lots of mixed feeling concerning this. If you happen to glance at the timer at the top of how long I've been married, you will realize why I left that up there...so y'all can get an idea on the timing of this one. Namely I've been married about 11 weeks. Guess what? I've been pregnant just shy of 11 weeks. Nice eh? So this is me at 13 weeks.

I've also been sick, frustrated with the lack of support I have here, and all those feeling concerning my step-daughter? Now compound them with the normal fears of a first pregnancy - namely if I'm having such a hard time getting it together with her, what in the world is going to happen when another little one comes along?

I know, the advice I'm going to get is just wait - it will all work itself out. I hate to say it though - but that doesn't help right now. I'm terrified of this whole thing.

Yes, we are excited. Don't get me wrong. I don't look at this as a curse or anything, it's just that I wasn't prepared mentally for this and it really didn't seem real until I heard the heartbeat at 8 weeks, and even then it wasn't until I had an ultrasound, and my cloths stopped fitting that reality dawned on me.

Yes - it took awhile to wrap my mind around it. But what I really want right now is to stop being sick. That is what is overwhelming my life and coloring my interpretations of all that is going on around me. It isn't letting up and I would like a little bit of my life back so I can deal with everything else.

What were the best things you had while pregnant? For nausea, insomnia, clothing, etc...

A Valentine's Day Love Story

It's that time of year again around here - when the animals start having little animals. There's a lot going on around here and I'll tell it all in 'doses' (since that's my new theme), and this is the story of the week:

Meet Ned the Pygmy Billy Goat:

He's in love with Shirley his lady and they are going to have a baby, or two, or three or maybe even four (depending...since goats are notorious for this):

Unfortunately for Ned, this guy is also in love with Shirley and won't let Ned near her anymore:

Poor Lucy the Gander lost his lady this winter after she was attacked by The Turkey (who will be making his way to a dinner table in the near future). As spring is fast approaching, Lucy has some misplaced sexual frustrations. Obviously.

See him making sure Ned keeps his distance? Poor Ned. The good thing is that I have these in the brooder right now for Lucy:

Two beautiful, swan-necked white Chinese females (right now they're just cute and fuzzy). He can start his own harem as soon as they grow some feathers and are big enough to be put outside without freezing.

So that was the Valentine's day love story on my place since I was left home alone and didn't even get a card. I bought myself a box of truffles. They were good.