You Have Got To Be Kidding!?!!!

It started with just an ache Friday evening when I coughed or moved quickly. Now I can barely move (think knife between your ribs). Caused by lung infections among other things, go figure. Solution: Ibuprofen unless you turn cyatic (blue) from lack of oxygen due to shallow breathing because it hurts. Really. Then you need to go to the doctors. What am I talking about? Just another chapter...

Pleurisy occurs when the double membrane (pleura) that lines the chest cavity and surrounds each of your lungs becomes inflamed. Also called pleuritis, pleurisy typically causes sharp pain, almost always during the act of breathing.
One layer of the pleura overlies each lung. The other layer lines the inner chest wall. The two layers of pleura are like two pieces of smooth satin rubbing against each other with almost no friction, allowing your lungs to expand and contract when you breathe without any resistance from the lining of the chest wall.
When inflamed, the two layers of the pleural membrane in the affected side of your chest rub against each other like two pieces of sandpaper, producing the pain of pleurisy when you inhale and exhale...or cough, or sneeze, or blow your nose, or roll over at night, or laugh...

I feel great and I've been laughing about this all as typical (or maybe I'm finally going nuts), but seriously... I want to go skiing! And I can barely move!

At least I didn't crack a rib coughing...

Germies:7; Me:4

So I have a viral respitory infection. Let me tell you just how much fun this is. Barrel of laughs folks. Actually, after a bunch of prescriptions I do feel much better than I did last Saturday and have been "teaching"(more like giving my classes busy work) since Tuesday. I also put a humidifier in the bedroom and that has seemed to help some though I think it's a bit loud.

So anyway, I no longer think I'm going to die and am actually only bumming over the fact that it probably isn't a good idea to hit the ski slopes this weekend without being 100% up to par.

Actually I know I must be feeling better today because when asked by a student why they only had a 23% in my class I replied in a smart-ass tone, "because you've only turned in 23% of the work assigned, what did you think?" Huh? Are today's youth getting dumber or is it just me?

I Want To Be Buried In The Backyard

Seriously, somebody shoot me. Last week Shane came down with a pretty bad cough and didn't feel good. However he still worked all day and seemed to be kicking it fine with the help of yours truly (what is it with men not being able to help themselves to medicine but need it forced down their throat?). Little did I know that as I helped him along the little germies were multiplying in my system. They were like setting up a personal attack on me for trying to kill them. Let me sum up the last 5 days:

Tuesday: Woke up with a 'heavy' feeling in my chest. No prior warning and no cough or stuffy nose. Achy by noon, took a few @dvil, felt fine. Drove to Sterling (way up north) for a firefighter class starting the next day.

Wednesday: Popping @dvil and cough drops. Dry hacking cough; still don't feel horrid yet but deciding to stay home from the evening social activities to try and kick this. Woke up in the middle of the night wondering if I needed to go to the hospital.

Thursday: Can't breathe. Instructor takes one look at me and excuses me from class. I sleep on and off all day taking various medicines. Every time I cough I think my head and chest are going to open up. By night I can't keep anything in my stomach because I gag when I cough. Still missing fun social activities.

Friday: Sit my exam for the test with about 10 pounds of drugs in me. Finish first, pass with 100...(see, I'm still smart, sortof) and hightail back to the valley. When I got home I buried myself in the bed. Shane came in later from doing my chores and said we were going to the hospital. I reasoned and he's taking me to my doctors' later today.

Germies: 5

Me: 0

Ah yes. Pictures. I don't have any new of Shaner, but here's a few repeats of the cowboy himself:

...And no, I didn't make up the nickname. His dad calls him that.

This is from when we brought in about 400 head from Pagosa, drove them about 9 miles and shipped. I keep trying to figure out why he looks goofy in the second pic, but he's either chewing on his lip or has a chew in! He does not have chipmunk cheeks. The horse is Snoopy, his Heading horse who taught me how to rope too.

Peachy Keen

All is well in the world today...

Actually, all is well everywhere. I'll admit I'm a bit stressed from not having much of a vacation, getting my classes started on new units for the semester and leaving for winter Fire Academy tomorrow after school, but stress aside, everything else is peachy!

Our lovely Farm Hand/ Shaner's Acquaintance who was supposed to come for harvest and never left has finally been removed by the landlord. He started making himself a nuisance about 2 weeks into his arrival, but they still got work out of him on the ranch. I think my letter to Joe from a few months back sum up my feeling about the guy, but when he knocked up a local girl, ran of to Vegas to marry her and tried to move her into the main Ranch house (where I live) last week, the doodies hit the fan. Everyone was just tired of him taking advantage of the situation and lying to boot. He told my landlord yours truly was a drug addict and I told my landlord I was going to give the guy something to really complain about if something wasn't done quick like. It was great. He didn't ever get any notice. He had to leave NOW and had three days to remove the rest of his stuff from the property. I just feel bad for the chick who married him. When she finds out what she married...oh boy.

I'm just really glad he's gone. Now that he's not vying for attention and sabotaging everything he looks at ,Shane and I can actually spend some time together without worrying about Joe having to be present or trying to start some kind of fight.

Still way cold here. Hoping it warms back up for February because I want to get more time on my Mustang and I know Shane wants to get one of his 2 years old colts started. I'd like to be using Maggie for roping by May or June.

Oh yeah - Everything is now thawed out. This should never be a problem again because a sub-pump was put in and those things are so far down in the ground it's almost impossible to freeze them up. And yes, this was a problem last year in the other house, except the pipe froze to the pump so I couldn't get ANY water. That and my landlord acted like it's wasn't his problem so I had to haul water to the livestock from my neighbors. This year my landlord took care of it ASAP and didn't leave until it was fixed. So he and his wife had to live in crappy conditions too until we were back up to par. Made me feel not so alone with it all... Roses to good landlords!

Welcome to My Life

2008 is definitely starting with a bang, but not the bang I wanted.

So Christmas was nice, but I should have stayed longer because I've had a lousy 2 weeks since. In a nutshell what has happened:

1. The morning we were leaving for Rifle to start out New Year's traveling for Rodeo I discovered the heater had gone out in the pump house and there was no water.

2. Shane left me behind 'cause he had to announce, but promised to come back the next morning and help sort things out and get back on the road to spend New Year's up north.

3. The pump casing cracked from the cold and leaked everywhere.

4. There were horrid snowstorms and the pass was closed. Shane could not come get me.

5. I spent 5 days in a frozen out house alone with no water except what I hauled in for New Year's.

6. The Landlord got the water situation sorted out 3 days later, but then we discovered the septic field was frozen and under the house flooded out.

7. We couldn't find the access to the field to thaw it out.

8. The Pump guy couldn't find the access to the field to thaw it out.

9. School started yesterday and the kids came back today and I've only had running water (that I could use) for 2 days of being home.

10. They found the field this afternoon but nothing is thawed and the pipes haven't been fixed where they burst.

Moral of the story: Stay in Michigan...and...I need a vacation from my vacation OR septics freeze when the water doesn't run so never let a heater go out again. I'm sure you can all imagine what my mental state is in at the moment. I need to write a book and become rich overnight.

On another note: Fun pics of the furry (and feathered) beasts that we keep collecting...

I'll Fly Away

Except I don't want to. I'm in the Springs, waiting, waiting, waiting to fly back to Detroit via Ft. Worth. I actually want to stay. I've been up since 3am so I could get to the airport with time to spare in case of unruly weather over the pass.
I'm only going to be in Michigan until 6am Thursday, and my time is filled with family and trying on bridesmaids dresses for my brothers wedding in June.

I am going to be at the MotorCity Bowl Wednesday, so if anyone's going to be there, give a call. My number's still the same! Would love to see people despite my short trip.

I actually wish I was staying in Colorado. I want to see my family, but I am just wiped out from finals last week, fighting the flu and just being tired.

On a good note, though, because I'm leaving: Christmas started early for me! Shane and I exchanged our gifts last night. It also happened to be his birthday, so he had double the fun. Amongst other things, he bought me a beautiful concho and rhinestone headstall and matching reins for when I actually have a horse finished to wear it. Maybe by this summer. I'll post pics when I get back and get service.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas...

Sorry I disappear like this so often. It's been crazy here lately! Can't remember if I even mentioned it, but I cooked Thanksgiving dinner! It turned out wonderfully! I even surprised myself! We fried a Turkey, had cranberry pecan stuffing, sweet yams, mashed potatoes and homemade bread! We ate so much the pumpkin pie and coconut cream pie had to wait until the next day. It was mu first Thanksgiving dinner so I was pretty happy with the outcome.

Winter has finally settled in with a vengeance! We've had some snowfall over the last month, but it's mostly melted off pretty quick with the high altitude sun we have here. Well....it started snowing Monday afternoon and didn't really stop until Wednesday. School was canceled Tuesday due to the road conditions and snow...but honestly? We're talking about 6 inches here. I mean, c'mon! These people should try the UP sometime! I don't remember even seeing ground, much less a road, for months at a time when living up there! And the road maintenance people here suck. They just pack everything down so when the sun comes out it turns to ice. It's sort of silly. You'd think that at 7500 feet and in the middle of the Rockies they would have figured this out by now. Shane is complaining that having the temps in the single digits at night is trying...but it's still about 30 or 40 and sunny during the day! I told him to try subzero day in and day out and then he could complain. Not to mention never seeing the sun for months on end! I think they're wimps. I love the winters here!

Shane and I went Christmas Tree hunting last Sunday. We love our little fir we found up in the mountains! The dogs thought we brought the outdoors in and love to lay under it. Surprisingly enough the cats haven't bothered it at all.

Oh yeah! Update. Izzy IS NOT preggers! Yeah! This is seriously the worst time of year to have kittens in the house. She can have them come spring, but right now is out of the question! She came into heat last night so we're safe! She has been gaining weight, but I did switch their food so that could be why.

Come skiing y'all! The mountains have been getting slammed! We've already had avalanches due to heavy snowfall!

Whoohoo!

One more week and the kids have a WHOLE week off for Thanksgiving Break! I still have to come to school Monday and Tuesday, but I don't mind because I can get everything reorganized in my classroom and some new lesson plans written up.

So I've decided I'm posting everything off my new computer because the time seems to come out right (yes, I'm a moron and still worried about what other people think. Somehow though it just bothers me to think that someone would think I was wasting time or not doing my job...consider it job security if nothing else).

So I had an eventful weekend...at least in my world. On Saturday I managed to completely unpack the bedroom and bathroom and clean and put things in order! I also finally unpacked the boxes in the TV room and waxed the wood floors in the TV room and kitchen. Kitchen needs to be unpacked now, but it has to wait until the new countertops and cupboards go in. This is the first time I've had a whole day home to work and it was so fulfilling!

Shane came in from working the feedlots in the afternoon and we finally got my little colt, Rebel, halter broke. He's too cute and loves to cuddle. Sunday we shipped cattle from the feed lots. I brought my old mare Sabrina. I thought I was going to have to put her down this fall because she was so thin and sickly looking, but we changed her feed again and she's rallied back and is looking great! Albeit still a bit thin. She's as sassy as ever and worked great for me! Sedona came along also. It was a chilly morning as seen by the photos:

My baby boy is growing! He is SOOOO fat and needs to go on a diet. But we roped him and let him fight for a bit and then he just let me put a halter on him! Now he walks right up to me and rests his head on my arm.

Though I don't have an actual age for her since she's a Morgan/Quarter cross and unregisterable, she's most likely around 26 due to aging her teeth. She's so awesome and I hope I still have her around when I have kids so she can teach them the way she taught me!

Giddy up Cow Horse!

Chilly fall morning (it's still been in the 60's and 70's during the day though)!

Sedona chills out with Sabrina in her snazzy Denim jacket.

Can't we get going already?

Sedona and Ty

Crashed out with her buddy Izzy after a way long day. Izzy, by the way, we expect is expecting due to a certain 'Joe' in our house who has trouble grasping that closing the back door involves actually grasping the handle and pulling it after him until he hears a 'click'...

They will be New Year's kittens...

Middle School Reading Group Trip

At the begining of the school year, while looking over my class rosters, I had a class named JH SME. Huh? So I asked the principal what this was...It's called Junior High Skills Mastery. Huh? It's a small group of 7th and 8th graders who have scored low in reading and writing? HUH!? Teach them to learn to like reading. AHHHHHHH!!!!!

So I introduced myself to my 11 misfits and asked them to pick out a book they would like to read in class from a list I had chosen for them. They choose Canyons by Gary Paulson (yes, the same guy who wrote Hatchet that we all read when we were their age...he's still writing). So we read it. We study the Apache. We study the Berlin Olympics. We study Sacred sites around the world (all topics brought up in the book). And the kids LOVE it. We wrap things up and somebody mentions, "Wouldn't it be cool to go visit this place?" And everybody jumps in, "and we raise money, and we present it to the principal, and we make a documentary, and, and, and...." I tried to jump in, but they were on such a role that two days later I found myself watching them present this to the Principal who approved it. I found myself counting the money they had raised at a bake sale a week later. I found myself booking a hotel, a campsite and setting up educational talks with park Rangers at both White Sands National Monument and Lincoln National Forest....And the weekend before last we made this a possibility.

We drove to Las Cruces, New Mexico on a Thursday afterschool, met with a Ranger at White Sands Friday morning, explored the park all afternoon, drove to Oliver Lee Campground to camp, Hiked the HUGE Dog Canyon trail talked about in the book Saturday (10 miles round trip with a 3500 feet elevation change!), met with a ranger Saturday evening and headed home Sunday morning.

We are now making a documentary to send to the author of the book.

I've had the slide show made for over a week and have been meaning to post, but I've been busy! I figure who the heck cares if I post this info between classes. I obviously teach!

Oh Bother...

It works. Now I get to take a billion steps to publishing posts instead of clicking a button...just to make everyone else happy. Somehow I'm not happy about finding a solution to the problem.

I don't know why I'm letting this get to me, but it is. Maybe because I'm so consciencious about every little thing I do...(some may call it anal retentive). Anyway - this whole thing with my anonymous blogger bothers me. I know that I'm not wasting time, but I guess somebody chooses not to believe me, and I guess if that person doesn't then maybe others don't either. So to try and remedy this situation I'm trying a blog off my school laptop. If this posts immediatly than I know it's my computer that is causing the problem. Perhaps because I write offline usually it comes up later? (This was a suggestion a web page designer made to me since they often work offline and sometimes see a change in dates and times of design due to it)

So I guess what I'll do is I'll write offline at home on a WORD.doc, e-mail it to myself at school and then copy and paste my work onto my school computer on the blogger site instead of using an offline form and getting into service at school. Here goes...

Why?

Can anyone figure why I have a mean anonymous commenter? I barely have time to blog as it is and all I'm trying to do is keep in touch with my friends from back home periodically. This puts a damper on my days...

I guess I have to put blocks on my blog now. Oh well.

Not what I needed tonight. I've had a long enough day as it is.

Yes! Finally!

Finally I got busy last night to get a post out sometime today. So here are Pictures! Yeah!

If you haven't yet noticed I wrote three blogs...

While checking my site last night at a friend's house I had a disappointing experience with my comments from an earlier post. I know this must be somebody I know...so if your reading this...scroll down to your addressed 'note'.

I also had a rough night last night, but by sharing with all my worthwhile readers I feel refreashed. Plus I have pictures!

Dear Joe,

Though you may be someone my boyfriend is trying to help out because you are a friend of a friend and found yourself stranded in our mountain valley, I think you are worthless. Why do you ask? Let me count the ways...

1) You come into my house and eat anything you want. To top this off I have discovered you feeding your girlfriend as well from my groceries. If you replaced the food you ate I wouldn't have a problem with this, but you don't.

2) You know the water in the ranch house is sulfuric and therefore we buy drinking water. Do not drink my water. Buy your own so when I get in after working my tail-end off I have something to rehydrate myself with.

3)You talk big, but you are so self-absorbed you have no idea how stupid you sound. You will never 'get rich quick' and need to find a job. Period.

4) The three or four 'odd' jobs you have done around the ranch for us all doesn't translate into your keep. If you haven't noticed the people around this place are up before dawn and rarely back before dark. That means we work for multiple hours at what usually amounts to multiple jobs multiple days in a row. Your hour or two spent painting the entry gates barely scratches the surface of our day.

5) You lie. Plain and simple.

6) You looked like an idiot when you almost fell off your horse driving those 300 head last weekend in Pagosa while staring at two girls in a Hummer. Everybody made fun of you all day and I didn't even start the fun. Maybe I should have video taped it for your girlfriend?

What cataclysmic even started this off? You telling me you were entitled to your opinions last night while telling me you thought all drugs should be legalized to help stop Organized Crime, and I disagreed....for which you replied with profanity and nasty name calling.

Shut up you hypocrite and get a job. It would also help if you moved back to Texas where you belong.

To My Anonymous Blogger

For your info I write my blogs offline at home in the evenings where I don't have internet (when I actually find the time to do it) and then post them when I come into a service area BEFORE I start school in the early mornings. My blogs typically post 3 to 5 hours after I have posted them when I post them before 8:30 am, but only a half hour to 2 hours after about 2 pm. If I try and post after 10pm, however, sometime I have to wait until God knows when...I'm sorry I have to explain this to you, but it seems it's really none of your business anyway.

If you watch my blog so closely you would have seen I've written about this a few different times...trying to find a solution no less...It's just another chapter in my life of how things go odd as usual...

Roses and Thorns in Colorado

So I just discovered the High School newspaper where I work, The Farmer Flash (published since 1932 may I add), has a Roses and Thorns section! Roses to my new job! Again and again!

'Cause it's Fun

YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car) - Tara Ford

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie) -Half Baked Chocolate Chip

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name) -DMcL (Doesn't really work... how 'bout DEOD with the last three letters of my last name?)

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal) -Blue Horse

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) -Michelle Detroit

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first) -McLda (let's switch it again with the last three...Eodda)

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink) -The Yellow Tequila

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers) -Douglas Massimino

9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy) -Escada Sweettart

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names ) -Elaine Walter

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter) -Levi Levensworth

12. SPY NAME/BOND GIRL: (your favorite season/holiday, flower) -Autumn Rose

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”) -Apple Jeanie

14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree) -Coffee Aspen

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”) -The Riding Snow Tour

Greetings From the Cow Killer

So my truck was finally assessed and the insurance check is in the mail. I do have to have some body work done since the left front panel was pushed up to the door. But other than the bumper and side light everything else seems okay...except the cow of course...Loved the comments by the way...

Well, I finally did it. I moved. I have a few odds and end and a house to clean, but I'm more or less gone and am so happy. Everybody has basically read my woes with the owner of the place, but when I was on fire this summer things got pretty traumatic. I haven't really been able to talk much about it all because it's been so traumatic....but two days into a fire my pregnant brood mare got caught up in the places crappy fences and ended up putting a hole through her leg. She ended up alright because of my awesome neighbors who moved her out of there (and a very expensive vet bill), but had to be kept over there to foal. Well, I left on a detail the morning she birthed a perfect little red filly. I was the first person to handle her and ended up being the last. That afternoon their gelding tore down 30 feet of fence and snapped off 2 posts to get at and kill her. It wasn't my neighbors' fault at all, they did everything they could, including trying to resuscitate her. I didn't find out until 3 days later when I got into cell phone service. If the owner of the place I was living in had taken any pride in his place she would have been where she belonged, at home in her own pen. That sealed the deal for me. I started looking and now I'm gone.

To put things right, this weekend Shane and I went to a performance horse auction to purchase a young horse for him to get started. While checking things out he said I should go look in the weanling pen (where the babies are). I kept coming back to this beautiful dark chestnut colt and looked him up in the catalog. I wanted to show him to Shane, but he just told me to go ask the brand inspector (out local expert on horse conformation) on what he thought. Well, the brand inspector said he was just about the best in the pen and had the papers to prove it so I passed on the info to Shane thinking maybe he'd get something younger if it was well bred. He asked me the number and then ended up buying a horse that came before him in the auction.

I was like 'oh well' and then Shane asked me the colt's number again. I told him and he said, "well, I'm replacing the foal you lost, are you sure that's the one you want?" SOOOOO....I have a beautiful 4 month old colt being registered in my name! To top it off my buddy Kelly is being stationed in Italy this fall, so he's giving me Dasha, the little paint filly I had in my care last year! So I have two new youngster coming to make their home with me this week!

Also - I LOVE the school I'm working in....LOVE it! Things are finally going my way and I'm NOT jinxing it by sharing! I wanted to pass on the good new! And I will have pics soon!

Thorns....

....to the guys who can't keep his fences up where I hit his cow with my truck last night. Moo moo cow. Not cool to come down a dirt road at night and there is a wall of cows in front of you. I'm perfectly fine. The truck is alright, but has felt better. As for the cow...let's just say she's moved on to a better place.

Update

I'm so sorry it's been so long since I posted!

First, I want to thank all the great people who've kept me in their thoughts and prayers lately. You all have no idea what it means to know that there are people out there who care.

This has to be quick because I can hear students starting to wander into the school...

I don't really want to go into all the issues that have plauged me over the last few months, but I have gotten through it all and things are definitely looking up. In fact things are more than looking up.

For starters: This new school I'm working at is awesome. I actually can concentrate on teaching these kids rather than trying to actually get them into class and looking busy. At my last job I felt like a babysitter. Here I feel like an educator! Yeah! I'm very excited and have some seriously high hopes concerning this position.

Secondly: Though there has been some major rough spots with health in my family; my cousin Judy has started a foundation in my Aunt Joan's name and will be on Oprah in the near future. This is such a blessing because things have been really hard for the family concerning my Aunt's death.

My Mother and Father also traveled to Baton Rouge a few weeks ago to get my grandparent's remains. They have brought them back to Michigan to be buried. My Grandmother died last May and they were waiting to bring them back together. My Aunt has supposedly sent some really memorable things for me from my grandmother, so that has taken the edge off her death a bit.

I will be moving from the Ranch I live on sometime in the near future. The going ons there have not helped my stress levels and I've decided I need to move. I have a few options and am looking forward to the change.

If some of you haven't figured it out, things were not so great between myself and Shane there for a bit. We kept in touch and did some things together but the situation wasn't very good. I'm glad to say that by both being adult and talking through stuff, we've actually gotten a lot closer. I don't want to talk much about this because I'm in a mode where I feel if I get excited about something it falls down around my head, but I will say things are going well and I'm happy.

Hope everyone has a great Labor day weekend! Shane, myself and a good friend of his are heading to Steamboat for a PBR he's announcing and then Windsor for Bullmania. I'm sure I'll be exhausted come Tuesday morning, but I know it's going to be fun!

I will be posting again more regularly!

I'm just writing to let everyone know that I'm overwhelmed with some pretty horrible things that have been happening here and don't feel much up to keeping this thing updated or even venting about it all at the moment because it's just too much. I keep watch on everyone else's blog and will eventually get back to mine in the near(er) future than later. I'm just traumatized and don't know how to put things into words right now.

On a side note, not everything is all that bad and I have some pretty supportive people surrounding me (not many, but enough). I also have been tagging along with Shane to rodeo recently and it keeps my mind in a better place.

I think the year on a whole is catching up to me and instead of getting better, things kind of keep getting worse. I'm hanging in there as usual.

I'm Not Dead Yet...

I think I'll take a walk...

Just a quick update. My 24 hour fluey thing I thought was going to kill me didn't and I was on a fire by the evening of the 4th. We just got home yesterday night. The crew hit 5 fires in two weeks and were jumped all over Colorado. I'll update more later but it was killer!

Not a great homecoming. I've got vet bills and boarding fees for my pregnant mare because she was badly hurt on one of the wrecked fences we have around here. She's going to be fine, but it was stressful for awhile. Luckily I have fantastic neighbors who took the situation in hand for me. Because of this all I've decided I'm fed up with the CHEAP owner of this place. Things are getting done, but not without him bitching every step of the way. If horses are being hurt, cattle are getting into the neighbors and he can't fix it, I don't know if I want to stay. As it was I spent almost my whole day off trying to get two horses out of a neighbors pasture. His attitude is: "if it's a free range state, they can pay to keep my livestock out..." He's so friendly eh? I just didn't need this stress as a welcome home. And to top it off I probably can't go out with the next crew because I'm SO needed in the home office because SOMEBODY didn't do their job and now I get to pick up the pieces because I'm such a HARD WORKER and TRUSTWORTHY. Great. So if I was lazy and worthless I wouldn't lose out on the few thousand dollars the next fire detail will make?

Sorry to vent. Things just don't seem to ever turn out the way I'd like them too.

I will post pics of everything eventually. Patience!

Uhhhhh...

I feel like poop. I'm sitting in the office because my crew is staging for a fire, yet we don't even have an assignment. Looks like I get to sit on my butt all day and do nothing. Happy 4th of July to me.

This is bad timing actually, but I can't pass up a fire since I need the money. It's just that I think I have the flu, or something, because I have been throwing up since yesterday, feel like someone kicked me in the stomach, have a pounding head and am alternating between freezing cold and burning up. I'm trying to keep saltines down right now.

So if nobody hears from me for awhile, I'm on a fire and got better. Either that or I died.

What I've Been Doing...

....Obviously NOT posting pictures. But I do have bunches and will soon. Maybe.

Actually I've been packing for a fire (my crew 'hit the board' yesterday meaning we're available to go once we're requested). Fire season is still a bit slow at the moment, but things are starting to pop! So I've lined up a 'babysitter' for the 'kids' and have pretty much been organizing my life. It's sad I want to go so bad, not because of the money or fun I do have with my crew, but because I want to run away from the valley for the rest of the summer and this is the only way I can afford it right now. Don't ask.

Been doing a bit of 'out of town' traveling. Went to Fruita, CO for a bullriding a few weekends ago and spent some time in Cheyenne last weekend with Kelly and his girlfriend and then went to see Shane announce a rodeo in Grover, CO.

Also building fence since the elk are on the move and have knocked them down, and my paddocks are still all blown down from that storm a few weeks ago. Supposedly the owner of the place is fighting with the insurance company, but I have high hopes we have some better facilities being built real soon here.

Very excited about my new teaching position this fall. They gave me a new Gateway Tablet for work. You can actually write on it! It's really neat. Check out the link.

Ok - lunch is ending. Will try and get pics up soon!

Thank you all, I got it!

Nothing New

Nothing much new to report. I had a good weekend. I had a good interview. What more can I ask for right now? I feel I represented myself strongly and was very excited by the school and it's representatives. It is a school I would be honored to work at and where I feel I would be able to be the awesome teacher I know I am with a supportive staff and administration. I also want so much to be able to grow in my career and I really feel they could give me this opportunity. I hope this works out. I find out Friday.

I've had a humbling experience this week concerning a sick family member. It's opened my eyes to how small I really am in such a large world, and that integrity and honosty truly can pay off, even if it takes "forever" to notice the results. I think it's all about faith, and I've really been lacking in it lately due to a bunch of outside influences. Maybe things really do happen for a reason and sticking to my guns and doing my best will pay off.

Being involved in the community has brought some surprising support my way. Parents from local schools that I work with and community members I'm involved with in the Forest Service and Fire Department have been stopping me to tell me how much they admire me for standing up for my beliefs and doing what is right. It's been a surprise because I didn't know that people knew why I resigned from the school I was at, but it's made me stop doubting so much about how things worked out.

Quick Update

I've started with the Forest Service for the summer and have been away at Fire Academy since last Saturday taking a saw class. I'm a bad chainsaw welding bizatch now.

I have an interview on Monday with The School of Choice. Pray for me.

Great advice Alanna, but I don't have television. I live too far out for cable, I won't pay for satellite, and I'm never home anyway so what's the point?

90 mile per hour microbursts here yesterday. Looks like a tornado went through. My barn and paddocks are gone. No joke. It's spread across about 40 acres down the highway. Surprisingly the livestock are fine and neither the chicken nor goose were blown away. I had live wires down for a bit longer than what was comfortable, and since the wiring is all jacked up the power company had to cut all power to the place for safety reasons last night. It was like camping. But only in my bed. No water or light. Everything is back on today thanks to a lifesaving electrician. The clean up and rebuilding will start after the insurance company gets pictures.

Have one foal on the ground and still waiting for my mare to foal. I think she ended up not being bred until a lot later than I originally figured. The little hussy.

The birthday to end all birthdays is this Saturday. I'm supposed to be doing something fun. I hope I still am. Pray more for me.

Will post pictures soon!

Thursday Interview

Taken from Laura, this looked like a good time killer idea...

1) So what are you doing?
Attempting to clean out my classroom for the last time, and no, I do not mean for the year, I mean for the last time. I don't really want to go into details, but I made the choice to officially move on. I have two full days to do about 4 hours of work, so I'm organizing some files and stuff as well.

2) Any future plans?
Well, I'm working for the Forest Service this summer, and have considered moving and taking a permanent position with them, but I'm still convinced teaching is my thing and want to find another position locally. I do have an interview or two lined up. I'm pretty cranky concerning the situation, so I'm pretty much just waiting to see what happens. I've got the ball rolling and am trying to convince myself that things DO really happen for a reason.

3) Ok then, what about this weekend? Anything planned for the holiday?
Unfortunately no. I probably will work on a forestry contract I have open and help out at the dance my fire department is throwing. What I really want to do is get on a plane and fly REALLY, REALLY far away from here and never come back and deal with my 'situations'. But then I would have to leave the menagerie and I could never do that.

4) So, 'situations'...care to define?
No, not really, except that I seem to stick my foot in it more often that not and it's biting my right in the butt. Now I'm just waiting a few things out to see if I've ruined a really good thing or if I actually have managed to set things back on track correctly.

5) Still upset over the few problems that popped up last week?
Not as much. I'm pretty proactive in trying to fix stuff, and after a few phone calls and explainations things are a bit better. It dealt with some financial stuff and a mail mix up, and some questionable health issues that had me worried. I've chilled out some.

6) That's good news then.
Yes. Now I can concentrate on the rest of it all. I really am trying to stay positive.

7) It doesn't sound like it. In fact, it sounds like you are wallowing in self-pity.
Yup, pretty much so. But if that was all it was I'd never get out of bed and sleep all day. I'm trying to stay busy and get the day to go by as fast a possible because you never know what the next day may bring!

8) What about all the great advice everyone gave you?
I am eternally greatful. Really. I truly am religious and am praying regularly this all works out. It's hard for me to get to mass because of where I live. It's isolated and sometimes mass just doesn't happen because there's nobody to go, but I try. I think I've got to try and have faith on this all. It's out of my hands and I can't really help myself out any more that I already have.

9) Anything positive?
I am looking forward to starting my summer job. I also have lost my winter weight due to nervous tension. I suppose whatever works right?

10) Alrighty...ever get that blog posting problem fixed?
No. It posts alright during the day...like now, but if I write late at night it still won't post until later the next day. I'm convinced it's my broadband service and not blogger. Not too concerned anymore...just more curious.

Resolution

Anyone who's kept up with my blog is sure to realize my year has been anything but boring so far. Event after event after event has seemed to occur, whether they were welcome or not...and it seems I have gotten a rather negative attitude about life in general rampaging through my mind due to it all. Thinking back I'm aware this has been a bit of a downfall of mine in the past when situations become trying, but what I have failed to realize is just how much I have going for me.

Yes, things suck right now for me. There has been death, sickness, life-altering disappointment and unexpected financial changes, and I was hit with two more 'issues' tonight that ruined my plans and had me in tears, but truly, they aren't the end of the world. I've been through worse before, much worse, and I know I can get through all this too even though it seems scary right now. I am resiliant, strong, stubborn and willing to do what it takes to succeed. I also have a great work ethic, try my hardest to be the best I can, am not afraid to try new approaches to tasks in work and life...I also have a lot of energy and keep busy, so why do I get so negative about things? It's ruining my relationships with others and ruining my self-esteem.

I've decided I have to do something about this. I HAVE to change this habit, state of mind, whatever, into something a bit more positive. Yes, I still need people keeping their digits crossed for me, but I sure would appreciate if you all could share with me the things you do to perk yourself up when you've gotten really down and out. Attitude really is everything, but I just need some help getting there occasionally. Some things I've resolved to do? 1o in the list to start:

1) Smile. It just seems to come easier once you put a little effort into it.
2) When I feel like I'm about to start whining about my problems to somebody, stop and ask THEM how they are instead.
3) Learn to say 'no' when asked to take on yet another extra task voluntarily.
4) Continue to keep regular massage appointments to help reduce stress.
5) Stop judging others. I'm not perfect either.
6) Do one purposly random act of kindness for another per week, even if it's just a smile or 'hello' in the Walmart parking lot.
7) Don't 'bury' my head, proverbial or otherwise, when I get down. Go for a walk or ride with the dogs instead.
8) Research for information about the things that are bothering me and continue taking a proactive approach to them.
9) Tell the people who are supportive in my life how much I appreciate them being here.
10) Don't give up.

Problems Anyone?

Does anyone else have this problem? When I publish a new blog, it often takes up to 12 hours to post. I usually write later at night and I've noticed sometimes it doesn't post until the next morning, or sometime not until the next afternoon. Only occasionally does it post right away. This started about the time Blogger went out of beta, but I also started using a broadband service at this time so I'm wondering if it's the service, or Blogger. SO if anyone else has this problem (not like it's THAT big of a deal), then I know it's probably Blogger. If not, my broadband...Maybe if I write things too late at night it needs time to process through the server? I've noticed my service is awefully slow after about 10 at night...

On another note...things are in upheaval right now in my life. Not going to explain other than I have become more and more convinced that integrity is becoming an endangered trait, and that I have made some major decisions in the last year that I have been convinced show I'm standing up for what is right.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me...your toes too if you can!